obie

The best thing is to show tough love and let a child learn from the consequences of her actions. If she lives with her ex's family, and she does not contribute in any way, acts disrespectively, does not do chores she will be kicked out quicker than any family member will ever kick her out. This is the only way children learn. When they are on their own, are homeless, etc that is the jumpstart they need to start working hard.

College Guru

Your home... Your Rules. You did the right thing. Hold your ground! You have every right to demand respect. Hang in there!

PennQuaker09

Demanding respect backfires.

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Kaytee

gaining respect is the best way to go, just like love you can't make people love you or respect you

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If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them!
http://www.spcnicholasidalski.com

five of us

Kaytee- interesting what you said, I just wrote a post about that on my site - http://www.adventuresinparenting.org...be-respectful/

But I have to say, as someone said earlier, the disrespectfulness is also a stage of life. I remember being a brat like that when I was in my teens. I thought my parents were idiots, living in the dark ages, not worthy of my respect. Thankfully I grew out of it, and now on the other side!

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Katy
continuing my Adventures in Parenting

stepmommy0221

At 18, if you're not in college/university or working, then you're not really doing much in your life. There's nothing wrong with tough love. If you baby your child too much, they will never grow up. Period. It's one thing if your daughter tried making it on her own and a life changing experience happens and you open your door to her. If she's 18, and doesn't contribute to your household and has attitude problems and expects mommy and daddy to support her while she gives nothing in return...well...that's where tough love comes in with a vengence. I see alot of parenting around me and the one thing I notice with a lot of today's teenagers is that...well, they're quite immature and naive. The world unfortunately is becoming more and more competitive and if you aren't born into priviledge and you don't work your butt off trying to get somewhere, well, practice in the mirror "would you like some fries with that?" cause that's where you're going to end up. At 18, if you can't put your foot down and say "my house, my rules, think of the other 4 people living with you and the type of example you set etc" then...your daughter won't go far...There's a phenomenon here in Canada that I was reading about in a business journal. With this whole "Dr.Phil" generation where parents try to be their kids friends instead of parents and there's no "tough" love, mostly "soft" love...well, theses teenagers that grew up with this attitude and babying are now looking for jobs, and since they had everything given to them (also out of guilt parenting i.e. divorced parents, working parents who weren't around alot etc) they get out in the work force, first time supervisor actually tries to point out a mistake BANG! I'm depressed, OMG how could he do that to me? boo hoo...at 18, I was happily living on my own...I did not bring my laundry to my mom's...I was a fullt time student as well as I had a part time job to pay my share of my apartment and my school. I was always welcome at my mom's and I didn't have to call in advance, but I chose to not rely on her too much. My parents pushed me when I was younger that NO ONE BUT YOURSELF can get where you want to go...if at 18, I would have given attitude to my mom, my dad, my brother, my family or my friend's family...I would have probably gotten slapped or asked to leave and not come back. I understand that being a teenager, you're grouchy and want to push your bounderies...but there are limits and if at 18 you still have attitude to your parents and haven't learnt to respect them as adults, then get out of the house and learn a lesson or two!!!

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-Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do- Confucius :award:

-Stupid is forever, ignorance can be fixed-Don Wood :speechnerd:

-When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half-Gracie Allen :speechbaffled: