1dayatatime

A few days before Thanksgiving my younger brother called my mom and asked her to come get him. Niether my mom or I had spoken to my Bro in over a year. For the last 4 years he has been a Meth addict. I so hope this time is for real. I miss having a brother. He's so different now. I pray that I can have enough faith to help him and that I'm strong enough to not wear blinders. Any advise to help him heal?

jtee

I have experience dealing with addicts in my family and know beyond any doubt that their addiction will cause major damage to family members if given so much as a inch. I'm extremely hardcore and upfront, not afraid say "I love you, but you can not be trusted. I will not hesitate to call the police and have you arrested for the slightest suspicion of illegal activity"

People with addiction need the proper family support\compassion because it unlikely they will succeed on their own, but addiction is a powerful force that will take down families who don't have the power to be hardcore. Some people who don't understand how do deal with addicts might think that being hardcore (ie not bailing them out of jail, not giving them money, not letting them break a single house rule, etc, etc) is too tough, but any sober\recovering addict will tell you that being hardcore is the only way to handle it, the moment an addict senses and opening, it weakens them. Addicts need to be around people who are tough and will not back down. For them to succeed, they need to be environment where a second chance is not a fall back option. If they are given a second chance, they know there will be a third, fourth, fifth, etc. Maybe finally after the addict scams them out their entire life saving and retirement fund, they finally understand that they can love the addict, but not allow themselves to be victims\enablers any longer.

jenilouise

My brother is a recovered addict. The trick was getting rid of all his friends who were addicts as well. He has all new friends now (except one who also quit and is in the Air Force.) Be tough but let him know you love him.

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fallon

I so glad your brother turned up...I still find myself hoping that will happen to me one day and my brothers have been gone for a really long time, one about 16 yrs (he is a heroin addict) and my other brother has been gone for 14 yrs (he's a coke addict) I don't think the first one is still alive.

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Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

SpitNCobra13

Thats very sad!

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1dayatatime

Fallon I'm sorry to hear that. I cant imagine what I feel times two. I just dont understand how two kids raised in the same house by the same parents can be so completely different. Before my bro turned up I was contemplating filing a missing persons. Just so if he was arrested or found dead I would know.

fallon

yeah...I was way to young when my brother's went missing to do anything about it...and now nobody will give me enough info to make any difference. I know one of my brothers lives in fort myers fl. and him and his wife are divorced but other than that there's nothing to go on...it kills me, they don't even know my father died 3 yrs ago

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Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

Kaytee

I am truly sorry. Not knowing is so much worse then knowing and it being bad news. I will pray that your bro. stays clean and can move on from his bad experiences and become a great brother again

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TAR

I am so sorry to hear all this, my prayers are with you... My older brother is also an addict, My parents kicked him out of there house (last month) he came knocking on my door and I had to say you can't stay here,You can't imagine how hard that was to do, I let him know I love him... Being the only strong (and hard on him) one in the family is very difficult, My parents try to be hard but then don't follow through with what they say (he is living back at there house)... At least we still talk even though I'm hard on him (I hope that's the only thing that don't change)

jtee

Tar, those are great comments. Thx