ketcdad

In August my brother's mother-in-law passed away. My brother and sister-in-law asked if we would like her car since they know we are having car problems and can't afford to get the car properly fixed since my wife lost her job in May. I was very grateful and said yes. They were just giving us the car. It's a 1990 Buick LeSabre that was always dealer serviced with only 85,500 miles. After some delay with probate court we finally got the car on October 13. I got it back to Missouri and had it inspected on Oct. 16, had to pay $144.00 to have new brake lines installed. Got the car titled and licensed on Wed. Oct 17.

My 17 y.o. son was driving the car on Monday 10/22. It was raining all day. On a road with two lanes going in each direction, he crested a hill. He went 2/10's of a mile and rear-ended another car. Now the Buick that we've had titled in our name for 5 days is totaled! The Buick was worth approx. $1900. My son says he doesn't remember how this happened. He says he wasn't on the phone (my two daughters, 15 & 10 were with him and also say he wasn't on the phone). The speed limit on this stretch of road is 35mph. From the crest of the hill to the accident site is 2/10's of a mile. It's a straight clear view. I believe he was inattentive and therefore hit the car and that he should be grounded.

My wife and he say that it was an accident, meaning he didn't mean to crash into another vehicle, and therefore, since it is accidental in nature that he shouldn't be punished.

I don't even know what to tell my brother and sister-in-law. Their generosity has been overwhelming since my wife lost her job. They even gave me a $100 check when we picked up the car.

hannah's mommy

I would definitley give some sort of consequence. If the accident was his fault - which is unquestionably the case here - there should be some sort of consequence. Working to help pay for repairs or towards a new car, no driving, no going out with friends - something that will make him understand that driving is a privilege and that irresponsibility will not be tolerated - especially when there are lives at stake.

SpitNCobra13

Well, a punishment is for when someone does something wrong. Your son made a mistake here, due entirely to lack of skill, and maybe a little judgment. It sounds to me like he needs more training about how to drive properly before he should be allowed to drive alone again, especially with younger children in the car. However, grounding him or the like is only going to make him angry, and its not going to teach him a thing about how to drive properly. I started pilot training when I was 13, and one of the first things you learn is that everyone messes up, and usually (almost always) you come out the other end alive, and learn from your mistakes. If you break any laws or damage anything, you get remedial training, or lose your license for awhile (or forever, in severe cases). You only go to jail if you do something intentionally criminal, and getting grounded for a shortcoming of skill would be akin to going to jail for messing up in an airplane. Just my .02

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Teresa

If it were one of my children, they wouldn't be grounded, per se. They just wouldn't be using our car to get anywhere for a specified amount of time. If they can't be responsible when driving, then they aren't going to be trusted with a vehicle.

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FooserX

I wouldn't ground him either....I just wouldn't let him take the family car out on his own for a while.

Did you guys have insurance, so you can replace it? Maybe make him pay the deductible.

Kaytee

I thin the deductable is a great idea. Yes he had an accident. He didn't mean it. Grounding is when they intentially do somehting.
I wouldn't let him drive with friends for awhile. ONly to help out around the house kinda thing. Or make him pay for hte insurance

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fallon

I agree with the others

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Fatheredfive

Nicely stated, Spitncobra (and what's up with that nickname?
Teens are bad drivers, so you agreed to take some risk when you let him get the license and drive the car. Maybe make him pay a portion of the insurance?

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WHYTEKNYGHT2003

Woah wait a minute. what gives you the right to say that teens are bad drivers? i want you to elaborate on your reasoning for this, becaust that is a completely unfair and totally judgemental thing to say. sure there are plenty of news stories about teens crashin a car and teens drinkin and driving and what happenes afterwards and etc, etc. but do you even realize that those teens make up a small percentage of actual teen drivers? i know people who have been driving since 16yrs old and havent even had 1 traffic citation, most teen drivers are just that, teen drivers. because they are teenagers give you no right whatsoever to label them as bad drivers. ive been driving cars since i was 15. and ill be damned if someones gonna say im a bad driver because of my age when i infact am quite skilled behind the wheel. and i know what your thinking, and i do NOT believe myself invinceble, nor am i trying to make myself look like the best driver around, because i know i aint. what im saying is that there are a much bigger percentage of teenagers behind the wheel that are good at driving, and have common sense above their shoulders then the amount of kids that you see on the news. you need to think before you just put out labels like that

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WHYTEKNYGHT2003

oh and to answer the actual post, lol, i wouldnt ground him, but i would definatley see to it that he gets more training. some high schools offer the drivers ed course, has he taken that? i took mine there

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