Parenting Forums - View Single Post - Advice on dealing with racist comments from my 7 year old

Robversion2006 · 11-05-2007, 10:21 AM

My son is 7 years old and in the 3rd grade. He is mildly Autistic and in a special education behavioral class. His communication is a little ackward at times but not significantly behind other children his age. The issue I am having doesn't seem related to being in special education so I posted it in here.

Recently he has developed a fear, strong dislike for this one girl in his class. He begs me not to make him go to school several times in the evening and again in the morning if I am there to here him. When I asked him why he hates school he told me he doesn't want to see Ebony. He claims that ebony bumps into him all the time but when I asked his teacher she told me that it may have happened once but its definitely not a reoccurring problem.

When I persist in asking him why he doesn't like her he tells me he doesn't like brown skin kids, only white skin ones. I told him that I wasn't proud of him for saying that and that skin is just like eyes or hair and they come in different colors and none are better than the other. Also he has two brown skin friends in the class. When I pointed that out to him he says he only likes them but no other brown skin kids. When I persist he says she is too dark and thats why he doesn't like her. Ebony is very dark skinned but his other friends definitely have brown skin too.

I know the first thing everyone thinks is "Racism is learned" but there is absolutely no chance he has ever heard me, his mother or anyone who cares for him make a comment about race or skin color. He has had brown skin friends in his classroom since he was 4 years old in preschool and it was never a problem before.

My guess is that he might be developing a bias attitude toward brown skin based on his experiences with brown skin kids are mostly limited to his "behavioral class" where the kids mostly have some behavioral problem. His cousins and sisters are white and don't have the same problems so he might be assuming that the kids in his class act the way they do because they are brown skinned rather than because they have a disorder.

Honestly, I don't really know what to do but it is bothering me and I haven't gotten through to him with my talks.

11-05-2007, 10:21 AM
Robversion2006 Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 1 Rep Power: 0 Reputation: 10	Advice on dealing with racist comments from my 7 year old My son is 7 years old and in the 3rd grade. He is mildly Autistic and in a special education behavioral class. His communication is a little ackward at times but not significantly behind other children his age. The issue I am having doesn't seem related to being in special education so I posted it in here. Recently he has developed a fear, strong dislike for this one girl in his class. He begs me not to make him go to school several times in the evening and again in the morning if I am there to here him. When I asked him why he hates school he told me he doesn't want to see Ebony. He claims that ebony bumps into him all the time but when I asked his teacher she told me that it may have happened once but its definitely not a reoccurring problem. When I persist in asking him why he doesn't like her he tells me he doesn't like brown skin kids, only white skin ones. I told him that I wasn't proud of him for saying that and that skin is just like eyes or hair and they come in different colors and none are better than the other. Also he has two brown skin friends in the class. When I pointed that out to him he says he only likes them but no other brown skin kids. When I persist he says she is too dark and thats why he doesn't like her. Ebony is very dark skinned but his other friends definitely have brown skin too. I know the first thing everyone thinks is "Racism is learned" but there is absolutely no chance he has ever heard me, his mother or anyone who cares for him make a comment about race or skin color. He has had brown skin friends in his classroom since he was 4 years old in preschool and it was never a problem before. My guess is that he might be developing a bias attitude toward brown skin based on his experiences with brown skin kids are mostly limited to his "behavioral class" where the kids mostly have some behavioral problem. His cousins and sisters are white and don't have the same problems so he might be assuming that the kids in his class act the way they do because they are brown skinned rather than because they have a disorder. Honestly, I don't really know what to do but it is bothering me and I haven't gotten through to him with my talks.