Parenting Forums - View Single Post - Stay-at-Home Dad?

River2Sea · 12-27-2009, 08:08 PM

Good evening.

I am a father of a 20 months old boy with a second boy on the way (due early February). I live with the mother but we are not married. I lost my job in February 2009 and since then I have been working near full-time as a substitute school teacher; I have been otherwise very unsuccessful in finding meaningful employ.

I have fights about money with my partner. She is panicked at the idea of not being able to afford the $1,000 in monthly daycare expenses for two children if I do not find full-time employment in the coming months.

I offered that in the worst of cases, if I still do not find adequate work I could, as a temporary solution, become a stay-at-home dad with the children, while attempting to gain some form of income by giving private lessons in the evenings and weekends. Her response was very negative, and she informed me that her solution will be to split up and sue for child support since she finds the solution unacceptable. She seemed very threatened by my proposal. This would only be an emergency solution. She is not very happy in her job, and this has something to do in her reaction.

Is there a way I could bring it up with her, any arguments I could use without getting her upset? Especially for the women, what do you think about the arrangement? Does it threaten your role as a mother?

12-27-2009, 08:08 PM
River2Sea Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1 Rep Power: 0 Reputation: 10	Stay-at-Home Dad? Good evening. I am a father of a 20 months old boy with a second boy on the way (due early February). I live with the mother but we are not married. I lost my job in February 2009 and since then I have been working near full-time as a substitute school teacher; I have been otherwise very unsuccessful in finding meaningful employ. I have fights about money with my partner. She is panicked at the idea of not being able to afford the $1,000 in monthly daycare expenses for two children if I do not find full-time employment in the coming months. I offered that in the worst of cases, if I still do not find adequate work I could, as a temporary solution, become a stay-at-home dad with the children, while attempting to gain some form of income by giving private lessons in the evenings and weekends. Her response was very negative, and she informed me that her solution will be to split up and sue for child support since she finds the solution unacceptable. She seemed very threatened by my proposal. This would only be an emergency solution. She is not very happy in her job, and this has something to do in her reaction. Is there a way I could bring it up with her, any arguments I could use without getting her upset? Especially for the women, what do you think about the arrangement? Does it threaten your role as a mother?