[bssage]

You have seem to have taken a very appropriate first step. It sounds like your approach may have been a bit flawed.

I agree you need advise from some of the moms here. But her is my bit.

You need to do you best to have her reach a mutually agreed upon conclusion with you. I wouldn't approach it as a "stay at home dad" unless marriage is already agreed upon.

Taking the worse case scenario and moving on from there is one of the foundations of Dale Carnegie. Once you have done that, it can only get better. This is what you IMHO have done correctly.

In order for this to be succesful this should be done with the person you are attempting to unfluence. It needs to be her idea at least as much as yours.

If you have no immediate plans to marry these are some of the things to be considered.

primary care is expensive.

Finding someone you trust and who is on the same page as you can be scary.

Are there tax concessions made for a stay at home caregiver in your state?

How can making you get a lawyer (don't be a fool) and go to court generate any money in the immediate future? Or otherwise improve the quality of life for her children?

Sit together write it down. Don't, Don't try and work it out separately. IMHO this has to be done together. I think its OK for you to have a plan for your own employment. But that is just your piece of the puzzle. The puzzle needs to be a team effort.

Parenting, Care giving, Living in the same household, Are all team sports. Without that, its going to be uphill all directions.


I suspect there may be other issues here. If that is the case more info is needed