from what i can figure, here's what i think.....
Quote:
Originally Posted by newlittleone10
But my Bf has some major issues with anger towards me for even having been married and had a child b/f I met him.....
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it seems to me That is one of the biggest red flags there is. any normal man is not going to have issues with you having been married b4 and already had a kid. issues like that are Not love.
Quote:
Originally Posted by newlittleone10
In one breath he will say if I don't move in with him and give him a chance to see his child everyday he will hate me and possibly take me to court to gain full custody....on the other hand he says he does not want me to move in with him if I don't want to....confusing to say the least.
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that's his way of manipulating you. not a good thing.
that's also a very clear sign that more abuse is on the way once he's thinks he's got you where he wants you.
he can take you to court all he wants. but you can take his butt to court too for child support. if anyone is going to have problems it will be him if authorities get wind of how he's behaving.
Quote:
Originally Posted by newlittleone10
continueing to do the same thing we been doing but expecting diffrent results.
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like someone already said... that is the definition of insanity.
i agree with the rest. don't marry the guy or even move in with him--move out if you have already moved in--and stop dating him as quickly as possible. just b/c there's a baby it doesn't mean you gotta stick with the him. he's clearly showing signs of anger and control issues. they are his problems that he has to fix not you and he's wrong for trying to get you to be the one to fix them. those are not something any one needs especially a pregnant woman. you are Not favoring your daughter by doing the duties of a mother. its your job as a parent to do those things. this guy has no right to (b)itch about it. if anything he should be happy that you do them. if you already are working, stick with it. if not then get a job and stop being dependent on him to pay the bills. and stay in the town you are at since that is where your daughter is. she's settled there. she's happy there. so there aint no reason the new baby and you can't be happy there either unless problems come along between you and your ex.
the strongest way i can put it:
Run as fast as you can as far as you can. only have contact when it comes to taking care of the child.
here's a link with info and questions that you can answer for yourself that may help you out some in making your decision.
Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness: Warning Signs of Abuse
this is in there...
Relationship abuse is a
pattern of
abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner. An abusive relationship means more than being hit by the person who claims to love or care about you. Abuse can be
emotional, financial, sexual or physical and can include
threats, isolation, and intimidation. Abuse tends to escalate over time. When someone uses abuse and violence against a partner, it is always part of a larger pattern to try and control her/him.
&&&&&&&&&&
CAUTION: Other people in your home can tell what web
sites you visit. If you may be at risk, use a computer at work, someone else's house, an internet cafe or a public library.
Warning Signs of Abuse The following questions ask you about your relationship. If you are not currently in a relationship, these are signs or "red flags" to assist people in identifying a potentially abusive person.
- Do you feel nervous around your partner?
- Do you have to be careful to control your behavior to avoid their anger?
- Do you feel pressured by your partner when it comes to sex?
- Are you scared of disagreeing with your partner?
- Does your partner criticize you, or humiliate you in front of other people?
- Are they always checking up on you or questioning you about what you do without your partner?
- Does your partner repeatedly and wrongly accuse you of seeing or flirting with other people?
- Does your partner tell you that if you changed they wouldn't abuse you?
- Does your partner's jealousy stop you from seeing friends or family?
- Does your partner make you feel like you are wrong, stupid, crazy or inadequate?
- Have they ever scared you with violence or threatening behavior?
- Does your partner prevent you from going out or doing things you want to do?
- Are you expected to do things to please your partner, rather than to please yourself?
- Do you feel that, with your partner, nothing you ever do is good enough?
- Does your partner say that they will kill or hurt you or themselves if you break up with them?
- Does your partner make excuses for behavior, for example, by saying it's because of alcohol or drugs, or because they can't control their temper, or that they were "just joking"?
You do not deserve to be abused. Create a safety plan or call someone to talk about your relationship. You may also want to contact the police or a local domestic violence center or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-SAFE.
Congratulations for the new baby.
take care. stay safe. let us know how things go. come back any time. share with us. we are all more than happy to share the good days and bad days and advice.