I COMPLETELY agree with everyone else. And please do not think we are trying to make you feel bad! We want your situation to be better.
It's just our way of being compassionate.
He sounds very controlling and misled about how to have a healthy relationship. And the way he acts towards/about your daughter is VERY unfair to her. Her happiness and well being is much more important than his, by far. Sometimes as lonely people who need companionship to be happy (me too) we overlook certain things that are important in light of pleasing the person we're with. One major concern of mine with your post was this:
"This comment was in response to me telling him I needed to factor in child care for my daughter when considering when I would be over his place w/the baby."
If I'm reading this right, you have to put your daughter in childcare just so you can go to his house? Why?? Why wouldn't she come with you? Would she get in the way or something? That just seems terrible to me. Why couldn't she be a part of your family together? Is that something you decided on or is it something that he talked you into because of how weird he is about her? Honestly, I think you know as well as we do that he could never get full custody.
I'm sorry to sound harsh, but this guy just sounds like bad news. He sounds like someone that I would just not want to be with. And someone I definitely would not want a part of my (first) child's life. And she comes first!!!!
IADad, I am so touched by your post. I'm gald it let me give you rep. You really are such a good guy.