Well my son 'Drew is in the first grade he has always been a smart kid, a leader since Pre-K when kids flocked to him and always wanted to be around him. Always a very happy and positive kid.
He won the spelling bee when he was in Kindergarden!
He's awesome all the kids have always gravitated to him... and pretty much they still do.
But my Drew… He's got the ability to lock people out in school, or shut himself out from everyone else…
He came home a week ago and we asked what he played out back during recess and he said "nothing I just stood in a puddle and nobody played with me"… My wife and I grew concerned. And at that point knew this must have been why his teachers wanted to meet with us, this kind of behavior… Andrew is a sweet kid, the teachers love him and they seem to notice that he gets down on himself a lot… However when I asked him about the puddle incident the next day he said they didnt stay outside long and he enjoyed looking at all the reflections... so...
Last week I found out he didn't make it to the spelling bee this year and he got SOOOO EMOTIONAL!! He was crying and crying and crying for about 15 minutes. When I told him "Its ok we'll study and work hard to be in it during the second grade" He responded with "But what if I mess up then and the year after and the year after?" He really thinks into things VERY deeply and excessively.
We met with his teachers today they told us he gets upset when people look at him… and sometimes they do! But sometimes a kid may turn their heads and look at the board and my son shouts "WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME, STOP LOOKING AT ME", they noticed he gets very adamant about things and doesn't relent. So that concerns us.
The school uses a color system… red->Yellow-->Green-->Blue(Superstar) and he usually comes home with Greens and brings home one or two superstars a week or every two weeks, depends… he's brought home about 9 yellows this year and each time he was very upset with himself and explained how hard he tried to move back to green and I explained to him he's got to be more careful in not following protocol in school…
This leads me to my next thing… Sometimes at night before bed he will ask me to practice with him getting a superstar and I've been apprehensive to do this… he'll sit at the table and ask me to talk to him like I was one of his friends so he sits there with his hands folded back straight and will totally ignore me in an effort to be noticed for good behavior… I'm assuming he does this in school, and when I brought it up both of his teachers blinked, looked at each other and had an "aha" look on their face, they must have noticed that too.
They suggested a Cognitive Behavior Therapist outside of the school because they get deeper involved. They say it could be as simple as having him think "Happy thoughts" but to get him out of the rut of over thinking things and worrying to far ahead of today.
So to end the meeting the kids walked into the class… My Drew walked in and went to his desk, my wife & I gave him thumbs up and told him to have a great day! He sat at his table and folded his hands while all the other kids were rummaging around getting ready… he seemed like he had less to do… he seemed like he just wanted to behave. I love my drew… He reminds me so much of me… After today even more so, it scares me because I can get pretty emotional… my emotions can be all over the place at times and it's something I'm learning to cope with and handle better… I firmly believe I am the way I am because of the events that have transpired in my life not because of any imbalances or any weird medications… I am me because of my experiences… My son… He's a lot like me from his experiences with me. I want Drew to be more open to people like he's capable of being, while he still has a lot of friends they kind of know when to stay away from him. A few days ago he walked into the cafeteria before classes began and his friend approached him… and my Drew responds… "Leave Me Alone" when I asked why he did that he in a very nonchalant manner says "Nothing I just didn't want to talk to him". It doesn't seem like anger but there's something there.
We do have a younger daughter (4) and they get along very well.
I think he'll be fine but I dont want him battling the same demons I do and I'm wondering if Cognitive Behavioral Theraby will help.
Anyone with similar experiences, I'd be glad to listen to what you have to say.