Becoming a parent at 42+ years old

[teenage_parent]

you know what, i think the fact that you are older means you have a lot more experience in life. that will certainly make you a better parent.

unlike me, i'm growing up with my kid.

post lots. i'm sure many here would like to hear your experience in parenthood.

[Jackbac]

I'm new to parentingforums org and just saying hello I really like this great site

[nwcrazy]

Originally Posted by parentastic

Hello everyone,

I am wondering if some of you would share their experience about having a baby very late? My partner is 42 years old right now, and I am 38. Is it different from having a baby younger? What was different? What shall we expect?

I think the advantages are that you will be better prepared to do what's right for your child because you will have maturity, experience and the necessary finances. But, I think it's easy to go overboard with trying to do everything right. I think some older parents do too much to try to give their very young kids an advantage (since they have the resources). Sometimes, "lightening up" with the academics and classes (eg sports, music, etc) and just letting kids be kids does the most good.

The downside of being an older parent is that a young child will have HIGH energy, while an older parents energy level is on the downtrend. Believe me that will be a problem from time to time.

[RegalSin]

1. You can children at ten years old. Sex is that normal.

2. Parents ( your parents ) do not want you do have children, because they need to buy that second car, vacation house, or whatever. I know parents who are building brand new houses in countries where they have no legitimate documentation. That is why, and now you are over that age limit, they could not care any less or more.

3. Great you even made it past the bible age of child baring. Pat yourself on the back.

4. So what if your 40, 50, or even 60 years old. All you did was buy time for your children so they can exprience flying cars, the division of the states, teleportation devices that destroys you and clone you on the other end, and AIDS pills. The wonderful year of 2000. Where we live on the moon, and are wiping out the dirty colonization of Martians. Can life get better.

5. If your in good health, and he is good health the baby should not be a problematic thing. I don't know about how milk quality is affected, or if you will live to see your grand children.

[nwcrazy]

Well, I just thought of another thing you need to prepare for...

Colds.

Your young child will come into contact with other young ones...and will catch cold after cold. That's a good thing for your little one because the more colds he/she gets, the more antibodies he/she will develop. And that will help him/her to catch fewer colds as an adult. Also, if one is to catch a cold, it's better to do it while one is young and the metabolism is high.

Now, as an older parent there are a couple of BIG downsides: 1) Your metabolism slows down as you get older and 2) The immune system is not as "vibrant" as when you were younger.

So you have to be prepared to get more colds every year and (sometimes) more severe colds.

BUT, it's a small price to pay for being a parent.

[Alenysh]

38? may it be late for pregnancy? Nowadays more and more people decide to give birth to children after 30years!

[Dad]

I just scanned through this so I may be repeating someone, but just in case I'm not...

My wife and I had our first at age 40. One consideration (in addition to hearing "Your granddad is here to pick you up") is your social life. People our age often have 'no kids to attend' type of events or trips and other parents of kids our age don't socialize with us because we're as old as their parents. Nothing is rarely said but we just end up 'out of the loop' socially.

[csdax]

I was 34 when I had my first (my husband was 39). I was in the hospital for 5 weeks before the birth and shared a room (only for one night, thank God) with a teenager about to have her 2nd child. She told me she didn't agree with people having children 'so old' because it was too dangerous for the kid. Then she went out for a smoke.

Upsides of having kids 'later':
- You're more mature, sure of yourself, and know more about your own values. Those things make parenting easier!
- You're more likely to be financially stable
- According to the book 'Freakonomics', which I haven't read but my husband quotes quite a bit, having kids past 30 is a major positive factor in having kids that are 'successful in life'.
- Careers are more likely to be well-established and on firm ground, so taking time off 'might' be less disruptive to your career.

Downsides:
- There are more risks of birth issues, but the risks are coming down all the time.
- You get tired more easily.
- Being mistaken for Grandma and Grandpa

If my husband and I had got together earlier, we might have had another. As it is, my husband, now 44 and being woken at least once a night by a 2 year old, says that he's determined to get some sleep by the time he's 50!

[IADad]

Originally Posted by csdax

I was 34 when I had my first (my husband was 39). I was in the hospital for 5 weeks before the birth and shared a room (only for one night, thank God) with a teenager about to have her 2nd child. She told me she didn't agree with people having children 'so old' because it was too dangerous for the kid. Then she went out for a smoke.

Upsides of having kids 'later':
- You're more mature, sure of yourself, and know more about your own values. Those things make parenting easier!
- You're more likely to be financially stable
- According to the book 'Freakonomics', which I haven't read but my husband quotes quite a bit, having kids past 30 is a major positive factor in having kids that are 'successful in life'.
- Careers are more likely to be well-established and on firm ground, so taking time off 'might' be less disruptive to your career.

Downsides:
- There are more risks of birth issues, but the risks are coming down all the time.
- You get tired more easily.
- Being mistaken for Grandma and Grandpa

If my husband and I had got together earlier, we might have had another. As it is, my husband, now 44 and being woken at least once a night by a 2 year old, says that he's determined to get some sleep by the time he's 50!

Ha, I know what you mean. During our first pregnancy, we went to the childbirth/parenting classes that our hospital offered and there were two teen moms, and both of them were interesting people. When we had a session on breastfeedng, they warned about alcohol comsumption, and the one wanted to know how much breastmilk she needed to express before she could "go out and get loaded." The insturctor had anice answer about being sure your baby was in good care before going off to intentionally be irresponsible. The other one, I swear HER mom was the one in class. It was very apparent that this young woman had no intention of actively participating in raising this child and was essentially going to leave it to "grandma."

Now, thinking back there was a couple who regularly sat at the same table as us, and she "cut him off" when they started the 3rd trimester...we felt sorry for him.

and yes, we did have an episode at daycare where one of the aids told DS2 "look, grandma came to pick you up." My DW was not amused.

I figure I can sleep when I'm dead...