"The Talk" When and what
So, DS1 (10yo) got the lesson at school this year about the biology of human reproduction.
So, that got me thinking that as much as I do not want to face the inevitability of my son become sexually active, that it is inevitable and that being proactive is probably the best course of action.
He goes to Catholic school, so I know he's going to be taught abstinence and not contraception. And as much as that's a lovely ideal, I need to be sure my son and anyone he "pals around with" are safe.
So, I want to have a talk with him about:
-How the religious view and his practices are a matter of his own conscious.
-How, he's going to start feeling urges about girls (or should I say "others?" I don't want to be homophobic in this discussion. I don't think he's attracted to boys, but at this point can we really know? ) and that I'd prefer that he waits until he's older.
-How along with the experience comes with responsibility, and how he needs to consider what can happen should contraception fail.
-How he needs to protect himself and his future family, because thinking you know what partenr has or hasn't done, isn't the same as being absolutely sure.
- And foremost about respect. That you never use sex as a tool, you never coerce anyone, and never take advantage of someone who's impaired or in a bad emotional state. It's a gift freely given and exchanged and both people have to be willing to consent for i to be a good thing. Always treat a partner as a person who matters in this world.
and on the subject of impairment to be extra careful, because people do things they wouldn't otherwise do, and people regret some of those decisions later.
there's more planned in my head, about appropriate relationships etc.
But the question is, when? Is this too much to lay on a 10yo? or is this exactly the right to to have the discussion, if for no other reason to open up the topic so he knows he can talk to me.
The last thing in the world I want to have happen is for me to say something stupid like "Have any questions?" He says "Nope" and me to wander off thinking, "Well, good, we've had the talk."
Maybe from some who've been there?