Do you follow 'traditional' gender roles?

[bssage]

I dont particularly care who does what. But recently I have appeared sexist when it comes to my soon-to-be-ex. I may complain that the dishes, laundry, and house cleaning is not done. I don't expect her to do it because it is "woman's work" I expect her to do it because she is doing nothing else. I end up coming home and cleaning the house first then do the mowing shoveling and maintenance. Its also difficult because Chloe requires constant supervision. So there are only certain opportunities to mow (3 acres) for example. If I squander those opportunities it creates additional work. While she sits on the couch watching soaps or reality shows.

IMHO the type of work does not matter to me (I kinda enjoy cleaning). But the equity does. It make no difference if I am mowing or washing dishes. It makes me mad when I am doing it all when the other person does nothing.

End Vent

[Buttaflly227]

Honestly, I'm really into gender roles but only because that's what makes me and my husband happy. I don't think everyone should or needs to conform to anything at all ! I like being a stay at home mom and cooking, cleaning, etc. My husband goes to work but that doesn't mean he know how to hammer in a nail LOL. I'd be the one to do that, he's not a handyman, he's a philosopher and a thinker so when I really need something fixed we have a handyman.
There are a bunch of different ways people live their lives and as long as it works for you two, it's irrelevant what anyone else is doing. If it's not broke, don't fix it ! My dad always said it takes all kinds to make a world and it truly does.

[nwcrazy]

Originally Posted by bssage

I dont particularly care who does what. But recently I have appeared sexist when it comes to my soon-to-be-ex. I may complain that the dishes, laundry, and house cleaning is not done. I don't expect her to do it because it is "woman's work" I expect her to do it because she is doing nothing else. I end up coming home and cleaning the house first then do the mowing shoveling and maintenance. Its also difficult because Chloe requires constant supervision. So there are only certain opportunities to mow (3 acres) for example. If I squander those opportunities it creates additional work. While she sits on the couch watching soaps or reality shows.

IMHO the type of work does not matter to me (I kinda enjoy cleaning). But the equity does. It make no difference if I am mowing or washing dishes. It makes me mad when I am doing it all when the other person does nothing.

End Vent

If your your soon-to-be-ex really does nothing, I can understand your point. BUT if she is taking care of the children while you're at work, she's definitely doing a lot. After my daughter's mom and I separated, I decided to be a stay-at-home-dad. What I've learned is that it is hard as heck keeping the house clean every day when there are soooo many other things that need to be done too...from taking care of my child's needs, including playtime and learning time, to running errands like a chicken with my head cut-off. There's never enough time in the day.

[bssage]

If that were the case I would not need to vent