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Old 12-05-2014, 07:04 PM   #1
tankntorimom
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Default My daughter is having behavior issues.

I'm new here, so I will provide some background. I am a single mother of two, a 9 year old boy, and a soon to be 7 year old girl. My husband of 10 years left last January, and my children have seen him twice in the last 12 months. The changes in our family, and lifestyle have been considerable this past year. I like to think that we were doing great. I was happier, the kids were happier, and we moved into a better area. In June, my sister and her children came to stay with us over the summer, or until they could find a place of their own. The kids weren't thrilled at the prospect, but we muddled through it. Until September, when after a confusing couple of days, I was informed that my daughter had been sexually abused. I watched my boy shatter when he heard, I was barely able to hold it together. The only person handling it well was my daughter. After some suggestion from the Detective on the case, and some social workers, I have enrolled her in therapy. She goes weekly, and enjoys it. The problem that I am facing now is that, she suddenly is having violent, angry outbursts, and is darn near refusing to go to school. I was just wondering if there was anyone around who might have some advice for my particular situation. Thank you for your time.
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Old 12-05-2014, 07:24 PM   #2
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Default Re: My daughter is having behavior issues.

That is a very hard situation to be in, do you know who her abuser is?

In this circumstance I think it would be best to work with her therapist in regards to her behaviour, she has had a very big change in her lifestyle, plus she has been abused, that is a very hard year for a 7yr old to live through and I think professional advice would be best.
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Old 12-05-2014, 07:27 PM   #3
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Default Re: My daughter is having behavior issues.

We do know who he is, she has not seen or spoken to him since it all came about.
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Old 12-05-2014, 10:38 PM   #4
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Default Re: My daughter is having behavior issues.

That's a positive thing at least.
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Old 12-06-2014, 02:47 AM   #5
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Default Re: My daughter is having behavior issues.

Yes, we only found out because he came forward. She did not come forward until she was told that she never had to see him again.
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Old 12-06-2014, 06:33 AM   #6
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Default Re: My daughter is having behavior issues.

I'm with cybele - she's in therapy, and that is the best possible thing for her. Work with her therapist. She/he would know best. The violent, angry outbursts will subside as she recovers from her trauma. Until then - all I can say is to make sure you give her unconditional love and support, 24/7. Do whatever it takes to make her feel safe again.

You might want to consider going to a therapist yourself. I know it sounds odd, but I know that if I found out one of my children had been molested, it would devastate me. A therapist could help you deal with your own pain, and also teach how best to support your daughter through this. Just a suggestion...
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Old 12-06-2014, 07:30 AM   #7
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Default Re: My daughter is having behavior issues.

Thank you, I have been considering it for myself, I just don't seem to have the time. The therapist and I have come up with a few ways to try keeping her calm, I am hoping that the outbursts will subside, we are only about 2 months into therapy.
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Old 12-08-2014, 05:35 PM   #8
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Default Re: My daughter is having behavior issues.

tankntorimom, I am sure that it is hard to find time with two children, but if I were you, I would make some time for myself for therapy.

Singledad has a very good point there, your own therapy could ultimately help both, you and your daughter.
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