Re: Please help you all are my last hope!!
First, I just want to say kudos for sticking around for sister. A parent is someone who has taken on parental responsibilities to a child. Therefore, you are a parental guardian.
However, you sound like you need some extra help and support. Is there family you can reach out to? Where is your father? Have you reached out to the school's guidance counsellor, your colleges or your sisters? Has your sister received counselling or therapy for the abandonment?
If not, those are something you need to consider in order to move forward.
For now, please realize that your sister may be one of those kids that needs a lot of comforting and may be looking for ways to request extra attention and love. Perhaps what she is asking for she was once getting from her mother before she took off.
The verbal negative expressions are coming from confusion, hurt, betrayal and pure anger. If she doesn't have anyone else to talk about her feelings she may direct it to the person nearest to her. She doesn't mean what she is saying towards you. She is not at an age where she can easily control such complex emotions.
Because this parenting duty was suddenly sprung onto you a parenting course could be beneficial. Ask your college if they have something on campus for that or they may give you a recommendation on where to go. I know there is a negative stigma attached to parenting classes, but there are parents out there that enroll in parenting classes, voluntarily, without any agency involved, to help themselves become better parents.
You mentioned that you're not a touchy-feely person. You don't have be physically affection a lot, but it's crucial that kids get hugged and comforted, at least some times, as it boosts their confidents and gives them security and a sense of trust.
Have you talked to your sister about anything regarding these issues? If not, you should. State clearly that even though your her sister, you are now her guardian and must take over the parenting responsibilities and that she needs to respect you as her guardian.
You should, also, seek counselling for yourself. This must be a taxing situation mentally and emotionally.
When someone gives you lemons, borrow someone's sugar.
Last edited by artmom; 10-08-2016 at 06:25 AM..