Daughter and bikini problem

[Tania]

My 14 yr-old daughter has recently used her birthday money to buy 5 bikinis, that I feel are a bit to skimpy and leave little to the imagination as for her age she is very well developed in the bust area. I am not anti bikini and I had already taken her shopping and bought her both a bikini and swimsuit that I thought were suitable for her age wise etc. When we did the shopping for the above swimwear I had already told her when she tried to push for a similar bikini to these that the answer was that I did not think that they were suitable.

The bikinis are as follows 4 are sliding triangle tops with spaghetti string ties and side tying bottoms one of these are also white and would be completely see-through when wet. The fifth bikini has a sliding triangle top with spaghetti string with hipster style bottoms and would also be quite see-through when wet. I just feel these bikinis are less than suitable for a 14 yr-old to be wearing as in my opinion they are for girls of at least 18.

I have at the moment confiscated these bikinis and am wondering what best to do with them.

Should I keep the bikinis and allow controlled use of them, that is allow my daughter to wear them at home when I deem it suitable for her to do so.

My mother reckons I should sit my daughter down with a pair of nail scissors and make her cut them to pieces.

I would really appreciate your thoughts on how best to handle this?

[Mom2all]

I am usually a relaxed Mom when it comes to clothes.. however, If I had already told her that they were not acceptable, they would go. 14 is a hard age.. she wants to act grown when she is not yet there. Its important for her to learn that sexy doesn't mean showing all you got. It easy to get confused on that when your watching all your friends do it.

When my 19 year old was a young teen, we battled a little over skirts that were too short.. We compromised with having to wear shorts underneath them. And Tank tops.. always meant a sports bra to help cover them. We had the "What it meant to be a woman" rules. There are quite a few.. but I'll share some of them with you.

1. Camel toes are never acceptable in any situation...EVER!
2. Muffin tops are never acceptable in any situation...EVER!
3. Protect the tata's. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for
free?
4. What women have is gold.. every man a pirate after it. If you offer it
away like it worthless, it's copper. People walk by pennies all day long
never stop to pick them up. Keep the gold.

well.... the list goes on and on. My 19 year old can recite them like they are the ten commandments.. and the 13 year old is learning well. Perhaps you can make your own list.

[Dadu2004]

You're the mom, you set the rules. If you don't want her wearing it, then she won't wear it...period.

[bssage]

My two cents.

You had already said no once. regardless of whether they are two sexy or not. They are gone. IMO I wouldnt destroy them. Sell them or return them. I would be to cheap to throw them away.

And for what its worth I agree with you.

MTA I want to see the whole list. I like the first part.

[16th ave.]

mom2all, i like those rules. would you share the rest? they might be helpful with an 8 yr. old trying to go on 16.

i agree so far. you set the rules and said no. so you should keep them for yourself or make her return them or get her to destroy them. but if those aren't options b/c you don't want the money already spent to go to waste then you could always only allow their use only when you are with her and make her wear a swimsuit sarong and make her stay out of the water.
personally for us we would stick with our rules and not give in on this one. and have a talk with her about the potential dangers and stuff, not that you already haven't done that talk.

[IADad]

I like mom2alls rules too and second the motion for starting a thread an d posting all of them.

Now, the matter at hand - I think you want to stick to your guns, you said no, you meant it. I think cutting them up is a little rude. I mean do you really want to hurt her, show complete disregard for her feelings? I think that only teaches her that it's okay to be mean. Obviously she's testing you, and that's normal. It's also normal, although becoming less common for mom to stick to her principles.

It seems like you're being pretty reasonable on the whole issue. I hope you can impress that upon her.


oh, and Bryan, I don't think most stores will let you return swimwear...

[fallon]

I would also like to see hte rest of the rules...lol

also...my thoughts on this one are toss the bikinis...if you already said no than that was the answer. Plus from what you described they do not sounds right for her age AT ALL

[AmyBelle]

No sense in cutting them up, just take her to return them, after all, it is her money that bought them.

Im also a little amazed that she bought 5 bikinis, who needs 5? DUDE.

[Aunt]

Id take them back and get the moeny back and them go with her to get something you can both agree on. A hellish expidition I know! But i am with everyone else in that if you already said no it is not good to go back on it. Every time i have made that error (a lot in the early days) it has bitten me on the ass

[Tania]

Hi And thanks for all the answers to this to all

To 16th avenue

I would not wear these bikinis my self for a couple of reasons
1 The bikinis are at least a couple of sizes to small for me
2 I think my days of wearing a string bikini are well and truly behind me anyway

To all that suggested they should be returned unfortunately this is not a possibility as my daughter had without me knowing about the bikinis had already worn three of them and the other two have gone past the seven day return rule we have here.

So I really am left with two options get rid of them or allow controlled use of them as such.

Any suggestions would be most helpful

This is a picture of My daughter
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