Table manners for a 6 year old

[builtontherock]

Hello,

My daughter is 5 years old (well..turning 6 in a month) and, like any kid, is prone to smacking her lips/eating with her mouth open.

I've been trying to instill good table manners in her and have been reminding her not to do this for a good while now (a couple years maybe?).

I often have high expectations of her and she makes me proud by meeting them 99.9% of the time...(this is probably the only exception lol)

But my wife gets upset at me asking her to do this and tells me that she is "only five years old" and that me expecting her to not eat with her mouth open is setting too high of a standard...

So I'm looking for some feedback from other parents...am I setting the bar too high, or no?

[bssage]

I don't think that's is out of line. Your not wacking her if she screws up are you?

I think my wife is just wore out by the time we eat.

I want "please may i be excused" no elbows, a thank you for whoever is responsible for cooking and clear their places when they are done. I little more if we are in a restaurant.

DW (Dear wife) just doesn't have any fight left in her by then.

[builtontherock]

lol no not wacking her! Though sometimes I feel because I know over the years I've probably (quite literally) asked her over a thousand times.

I think it's largely our fault as parents because we don't have dinner as a family enough and because we're not "united" on the matter...so she pretty much knows in the back of her mind that the only thing that will happen is that I'll ask her again...and Mom will get mad at me...lol

I certainly don't think it's anything that should entail "negative reinforcement." But having asked her hundreds (thousands?) of times already and not getting any where is making me feel impotent as a parent. I'm beginning to think it's time to use positive reinforcement. (ie ice cream ) though...momma wasn't too fond of that idea either

I don't mind the elbows on the table thing though, heck I do it myself

[bssage]

Our neibors had a bunch of foster kids when I was young. Thats really where I learned most of my manners. They were very strict about it. And had very good food. I personally am always impressed when DS (dear son) has a friend over that uses his table manners.

[Dadu2004]

IMO you're not out of line. My 5 year old will be 6 in May and we expect table manner from her. It takes constant reminders, but she's getting better and better.

[Jeremy+3]

We expect table manners for everyone over 18 months old, if you cannot eat nicely at the table you can sit on your own to eat your tea.

[IADad]

I don't think you're out of line either. Is DW telling you this in front of her? You guys really need to take that discussion "off-line" You're being consistent in your expectation, now you just need to agree on being united in enforcement and probably setting a better example (but you've already identified that) So, rest assured you needed feel like the bad guy.