defiant 3.5 year old! I am at a loss

[Natnalexmom]

Anyone have any great tricks to help me with my 3.5 year old who just doesn't seem to care about consequences?

[bssage]

search terrible two's threads. It doesn't end at three.

[Antoinette]

I'm having the same problem with my 15 month old.. he is exactly the same and he isn't even two yet so I'm oh so thrilled to see it will continue until at least 3.5 LOL

[Natnalexmom]

Thanks for the comments guys. This is very different than her terrible twos. Terrible two for us just took some consistency and setting boundaries for her. I will still check out that section of the forums though, maybe I will find some good ideas.
Antoinette...I have an 18motnh old as well and he is starting to be very testy with us. We have set up a small pack and play in the middle of our house and if he can't not follow through with what we have asked of him then in he goes. Some days its once, some days its 10 times. But he figures it out. We just simply say most of the time, do you want to sit in time out and he will ggive the pout look and then given in to our demands. Also somethign we started doing with both children is asking them if they would like to do what right, or they can choose to do whats wrong and then get "X" consequence. It kind of makes them stop and thing about what they are being held accountable for. If they choose the better choice then we praise them. If they choose not to make the better choice, we don't make a huge deal of it but just say., "oh that's sad because now you have to ..." whatever I told them the consequence was going to be. This worked so well with our three year old and now suddenly it is out the window. But it still works great for the 18 month old and our 2.5 year old.

[IADad]

If I remember correctl, it seems like we hit a period of this around 3.5 or 4 with DS1 who was pretty well behaved overall. I think they sort of hit a pooint where they have been given some lattitude in things, so they want to test the waters by taking more.

You must break their spirit, break their will...ooops, no, that's what the trolls would post ;-)

Seriously, I think you just have to be consistent and get through it know they are going to test and push and defy, oh and Lie You have lying to look forward to. The first lie is always such a great event. (grrr)

We have a similar problem with the 3 yo now. I'll send him to his room, for example and he'll go to the stairs and stop. So I pick him up and move him there and I try at that point rather than getting madder, I try to get eerily calm and explain to him what needs to happen next. Which reminds me of my experience last night. I'll post separately so as not to hijack your thread.

and BTW, Welcome!

[Natnalexmom]

Thank you! I figured finding something like this forum would help me remember I do not have the only child who does this.

We got the pleasure of the first lie last week and I was SHOCKED by the story this 3 yo could come up with! Where in the world some of her "facts" came from, I will never know.

She has always been an independent test the world kind of kid, but we have always found ways to get past her and move forward. The last two weeks have been totally EXHAUSTING for me. I guess it bothers me so much because I know she is better than this...but to make her see that right now is not an option for her.

It really bothered me when I picked her up from school the other day, her teacher was talking to bother her and I and she was completely ignoring both of us, I was mortified. The worst feeling is when you think, people think, you're an awful parent. When really this is just a (hopefully) short lived moment in this 3.5 yo life!

But again, I thank you for the welcome, and the support.

[IADad]

I understand being mortified like that but remember the teacher has probably seen that 100,000 times...