How does this sound for incentive?

[kdryan]

I was trying to come up with something unique to replace time outs with around the house. The squirts are getting older, and to be honest, time out is just not what it used to be for behavior modification. So here is what I came up with. I went to Wal Mart and bought 4 glass cups for holding candles in. I also picked up two bags of beads; 1 green, and 1 blue. Now whenever discipline is required, the guilty party gets to move a bead to their empty cup. At 8:15 (bedtime is at 8:30) the beads are tallied up and winner gets to stay up a half hour later at night. In case of a tie, both go to bed, and if there are no beads, both stay up later. They seem to like it enough, although I do here complaints of 'That's not FAIR!' when the loser gets shuffled off. I was going to make it the loser goes to bed a half hour early, but I wanted to keep it a reward, not a punishment.

So what do you think?

Kevin

[Xero]

That's a really cool idea! I might just swipe it a few years from now.

[Jeremy+3]

I would say no to the bed time, an extra half an hour at their age is a lot and may give you a very grumpy child the next day, which means worse behavior!

At that age we haven't rewarded good behavior, we just punish for bad behavior, we feel they are old enough that they don't need rewards. At that age though our children haven't been very naughty, it has been more of the odd cheek or coming later than they were told to.

[Antoinette]

i love that idea, it's great

[bssage]

I think its kinda funny. Really your saying as long as your not as bad as your sister/brother you get a reward. LoL.

Dont get me wrong I can see myself doing the same type of thing. Its kinda my theory of "Low expectations" that I have patterened my life with.

Really IMHO it should go a little more like this. If you make it to lunch without getting in trouble Reward, Supper reward, Evening Reward, Each reward can be cumulative or on its own.

But its one of those, (for me) do what I say and not what I do. I can see myself doing the same thing. Anything for a little peace and quite now and then.

[Antoinette]

yes, in theory bssage that is the better idea but.. i know that i would also say i was going to do that but end up doing it the way kdryan said

[Xero]

Yeah that does sound like a good idea bssage but I totally couldn't keep up with like 3 rewards a day every day. o__o

[kdryan]

Actually, it kind of keeps them focused through the day. Having to move a bead reminds them that the game is on and they need to fly straight or they lose the prize. They know what the deal is and it has quickly become a part of the bedtime ritual.

[Sheldon Martin]

As a family therapist, I am asked this type of question a lot. First, of all there are three types of ways to reinforce a child's good behavior: verbally, activity, and material. Verbal praise is by far the most effective and also the cheapest. Activity reinforcement is playing a game, going to the park, watching a movie together. This is good; however, the only draw back is you do not always have the time to do activity reinforcement. The third is material. It sounds like the system you are getting ready to use is material. Material reinforcement is great to get the ball rolling; however, its drawback is that you will need to increase material to keep the good behavior going. I would suggest putting your system in place, but know that if it stops working in a week or so that you are not doing anything wrong. Increase the verbal praise and I would still use time out for negative behavior.

[Xero]

Sheldon Martin, please remove the advertisement from your signature. It is not allowed here. Please read over the rules and guidelines of this forum before continuing to post. Thank you.

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