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Old 08-04-2010, 11:12 AM   #1
bharris1027
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Exclamation sleeping arrangements

I have been talking to this girl for some time now (known her for 10 years but romantically for like 3 months), and she has a 2 year old boy. Recently she has been sleeping over at my house and she and her son will sleep in my bed. Only problem is she seems to think its wrong for me to sleep in the same bed as her son because "she doesnt want him to get the wrong impression". Her son loves me to death and I am very good with him and she trusts me a lot with him. Also its not like we do this a lot. Only like 2 time a month. Does she not trust me? Did I do something wrong? She tells him we are having a "sleepover".

PLEASE HELP! I really love this girl and her son and i dont wanna screw this up!

Last edited by bharris1027; 08-05-2010 at 07:52 AM..
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Old 08-04-2010, 11:44 AM   #2
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Default Re: 2yr old sleeping in bed with mom and boyfriend

Does he sleep in bed with her when she is not at your house? And I'm just going to go ahead and assume that the only thing potentially going on in the bed while he's there (if you were all to be in the same bed) is sleeping, because if not the answer would be obvious.

I think you have good intentions at heart for sure, but I also think that its inappropriate for a mother to let her child sleep in bed with her (kinda new) boyfriend. If you guys had been together since he was born maybe, or if you guys were at least married maybe, but its hard enough introducing a new person/possible father figure into a child's life in the first place, let alone showing the child that this man can sleep in the same bed as him and mommy.

Also, does your gf still talk to the boy's father? Is the father still a part of the boy's life? I would imagine that if so, he would be very unaccepting of another man sleeping in bed with his child. Your gf says she doesn't want the boy getting the wrong impression, and it is somewhat about that, but I think its even more about other people getting the wrong impression. I can only imagine what my mom would say if I left DH and got into another relationship, and then let my son sleep in bed with the new guy and me. Just to put it into perspective.

What I'm trying to say, in conclusion, is that I don't think its a subject that needs to be pushed. I think you're kinda stepping over your boundaries here. If she says no, leave her alone about it (IMHO). It doesn't mean she doesn't love or trust you, it just means she's being a cautious and protective parent, which is what a good parent does, and she doesn't want to risk doing the wrong thing.
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Old 08-04-2010, 11:50 AM   #3
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Default Re: 2yr old sleeping in bed with mom and boyfriend

what Xero said ^^

It is a little confusing since we don't really know the full scope of your relationship over that last 10 years and how much trust is/should be there. But the bottom line is if she says "no," then she has the final say.
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Old 08-04-2010, 12:41 PM   #4
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Default Re: 2yr old sleeping in bed with mom and boyfriend

Three months isn't very long for a two year old, especially if her son isn't accustomed to sharing the bed with another man. Due to his age as well simply sleeping in another place can disturb his sleep, so having less room in bed and with someone he doesn't really know, it will disturb it more, which gives you a grump boy the next day.

You do have to be careful, when Amelia was about 20 months she spent a night in grannies bed and tried to get some boobie juice!
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Old 08-04-2010, 01:39 PM   #5
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Default Re: 2yr old sleeping in bed with mom and boyfriend

he always sleeps in the bed with her when he is at home and yes the only thing going on is sleeping. he loves me to death and even when they do sleep at my house he sometimes climbs out of bed with mom and snuggles with me and falls asleep. he always talks about me and sometimes throws a fit when he cant see me. as for the sons bio father, he is a drug addict who is locked up in prison and according to mom he wont ever be in his life. Also let me remind you that the baby knew me even before i started dating her. No one sees us sleeping together, so i know its not about other people knowing he is in bed with me. She was very specific about the child getting the wrong impression. We agreed for me to research this subject, so I said I would go online and look into it. I dont think shes entirely sure weather she should be doing this either.


ADD:
Oh also she doesnt mind snuggling with me, her, and the baby during the daytime and taking a nap. Its just at night time she has an issue with it.

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Old 08-04-2010, 01:44 PM   #6
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Default Re: 2yr old sleeping in bed with mom and boyfriend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeremy+3 View Post
when Amelia was about 20 months she spent a night in grannies bed and tried to get some boobie juice!
at least it was granny, not gramps...
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Old 08-05-2010, 12:19 PM   #7
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Default Re: 2yr old sleeping in bed with mom and boyfriend

bharris1027 - You have seleceted not to recieve private messages on your account, so I will tell you here that we do not allow crossposting, and we would appreciate it if you did not post the same thing twice. I realize you wanted a poll, but its not necessary because people have already answered your question. Please refer to the rules before continuing to post:

http://www.parentingforums.org/f17/r...ting-7179.html

Thank you.
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