You know you've drank too much when

[Jeremy+3]

you get home and you can't find your keys, so you smash the smallest window in the house, realise you'll never fit through it and then go to sleep on the floor, only to wake up in the morning to find your keys in your back pocket.

I like how I managed to splatter so much blood on the wall, I have the skills!



Look how fat my hand is!!!!

[Father_0f_7]

And your kids were where during this episode?

[NinJaBob]

[xox.ilu.xox]

LOL!!! omg jeremy. thats an epic fail.....i agree..../facepalm

[Cop2be]

OMG
This is kinda funny...because something similar happened to me Saturday night into early early sunday morning.

I was smashed out of my mind. Got home only to find my mom hadn't left a key like she said she would.

So here I am, 3am and I have to pee like none other, I can't find the key anywhere.

I ended up hopping into the window well of the basement window and popping it open with a sprinkler spike.

I get in and drag myself up the stairs to find the basement door locked as well. I try to pop it open with my drivers license, which doesn't work.

So I end up texting my brother who i can hear is awake to come unlock it.

I come to find out that they were both awake and I could have just asked to be let in, instead of going through all that.

Sad part is I drank a 6 pack of mikes hard raspberry margarita and was pretty affected by it.

I stopped drinking at about 3am and blew a PBT (portable breath test) around 6 am and blew a .050, not nearly a .08 but still....and don't ask how I got that done...I gots the hook up lol.


I had work yesterday as well, got 3 hours of sleep, woke up sick to my stomach with a headache and then worked a 7 hour shift.

[Jeremy+3]

Haha no F07, they've gone to Wales for a few days with my wife, as if I could leave the house without at least one kid in tow!

[IADad]

Originally Posted by Jeremy+3

, they've gone to Wales for a few days with my wife,

hence the baccanale

makes me wonder what Barrack did while Michelle was in Spain....I somehow doubt he invited Clinton over for cigars....I suppose one good thing about being president would be if you came home drunk you'd always have a DD and never have to worry about finding your keys/getting them into the lock....

[Jeremy+3]

Well, I know what men are like in Spain, so I wonder what Michelle was doing as well!

[Xero]

LOL wow Jeremy that's pretty bad!!! Your hand looks awful!! Did you see a doctor for stitches?

I don't think I've ever done anything that stupid, but a couple weeks ago Eli went to my mom's for the night so Steve and I could go out for his birthday and we definitely got like insanely messed up. We don't have a driveway, so we always park along the street, and there are meters all along the street and they only last 2 hours and that freakin lady is always giving us $2 tickets which are so obnoxious.

So we're always plotting like evil things to do to her LOL like parking out front and not putting any money in the meter and then waiting by the window with the keys and when she reached over to set the ticket in the wipers we would press the alarm button lmao! (we've never done any of this, we're just joking) Or putting a donut on the windshield. We've thought of so many things lol.

So anyway we joked that night about how we should just put two dollars under the wipers so that she doesn't even bother writing us a ticket haha... Totally stupid of course, because some kid or something would probably snatch it way before the ticket lady ever came across it anyway.

But apparantly Steve was so drunk that night that when we got out of the car he really DID put the $2 under the wipers!! I didn't even know, and when I went to work the next morning he like, texted me asking if the $2 was still on the windshield. It was kinda funny. And the $2 was so gone.

[IADad]

in college we'd get a roll of nickel and walk down the street in front of the meter maid, plugging people's expired meters...best fun $2 could provide!!