So have I missed something??

[meow_173]

Ok, So clearly i've missed something in the few months i've been gone.


When i left this forum, people were friendly....caring.....gave great advice....compassionate, and all around family orientated people. Yes there were times when we came across a troll, or someone being silly, or we've all participated in a good debate....but after reading some of the posts on the HIV thread, i was shocked at the language, attitude and overall demeaner from some of the members.

1.) its a forum, everyone has the right to express their feelings and opinons in a respectable fashion.

2.) this is a parenting forum. It is expected that we are all there for each other in each other's time of joy and sorrow, frustration and happiness.


I dont know what happened to some of the people in this forum......but after reading the HIV thread (thank you to XERO for closing it btw), i was floored.

Maybe people need to give their heads a shake and get back to basics.

[mom2many]

Overall it still is, I think that sometimes we have off days though.

I liked the HIV thread and really didn't see a lot wrong with it. Even if it was a troll I thought the topic was a good one.

I also think that this site get's so many trolls that sometimes we are just so leary that we may not always answer the best way possible.

I hope I am making sense...we are still here for each other, and there is still compassion, it's just a little more guarded.

[1mom.4kids]

I was a brand new member and the first discussion that I really starting following was the HIV one. I was shocked at first and had considered leaving the forum because this wasn't the feedback that I would want if I posted a controversial question but after reading ALOT more discussions I realized that this group really does give great advise and the "seasoned members" really just want to protect the intergrity of this forum and weed out the few that want to just cause trouble.

I actually appreciate that. I might not have agreed that it was a troll but you will all soon find out the I am gulliable and will believe just about anything anyway.

[Xero]

I'm sorry you feel that way, Meow.

I think you may have just walked in at the wrong time. I don't think anyone is being a certain way on purpose.

[Dadu2004]

I agree...overall this place is still a very caring and safe place. We've got a good group of core members who care very much, and us "seasoned members" (thank you 1mom.4kids for that) are here to watch the integrity of the board.

The HIV thread was very interesting in that the person who posted it boosted her post just to post something very controversial. She had many of the qualities that we see in a typical troll...I may have jumped too quickly, but being here for the length that I have it's fairly easy for me to spot one. I'm still on the fence about the whole thing.

Most of the issue yesterday was caused by me and people reacting to me. Unfortunately it turned into an issue of people on "Dadu's side" and people not on "Dadu's side". It never should've gotten to that point. Xero did the right thing in closing it.

Anywho...I still think this place is great and I'm excited about some of the new faces coming in.

[mom2many]

I am always on Dadu's side! We just don't always have to agree .

Closing it was fine, although I really was wanting to see where it went, but I like a good debate LOL.

[Dadu2004]

Originally Posted by mom2many

We just don't always have to agree .

Haha!...even when we don't, you still know that you're one of my favorite people ever!

[Xero]

Well I imagined that other people were probably getting the same feeling from it that Meow was, so I thought it was for the best to close it.

I think really it was just a big misunderstanding, that resulted in people feeling the need to defend themselves, some of them used an inappropriate manner to do so. I really don't think that fluke of a thread reflects the overall attitude of our forum members, though. Like I said, it was a misunderstanding, and nobody is perfect. This place is full of great people that I highly appreciate and enjoy.

[mom2many]

Originally Posted by Dadu2004

Haha!...even when we don't, you still know that you're one of my favorite people ever!

Aww...I'm blushing LOL! But I think we tend to agree more then not!

I think that thread was after the whole tree on house/dog is dead and I was not feeling very generous....I really wasn't.

[IADad]

I think in the end people here do care, and we care especially about the people who are here to contribute and belong. We have to continue to remember that behind every post is a person, most are good people, some are obvious fools and some are devious and less obvious fools. Even good people have bad days or make poor judgements, I've jumped to conclusions many a time. There's also the issue of the written word. In the foum world where we tend to write short comments, it's easy to not understand the intent of something someone posts or to comment in a way that isn't taken as intended.

In the end, Xero wouldn't have had to close it if people had been civil and dropped the argument when it was pointed out that the thread was headed the wrong direction. You can't be both magnanmous and right, and there's a difference between debate and battle. (IMHO)