Facebook and bad language

[sbattisti]

Hey folks,

My older son is 15, and of course he's on the computer and Facebook incessantly. He's a good kid - no behavior problems, good grades, etc. I'm "friends' with him on FB too.

Of course, when he posts status updates, they are visible to me, and they often include bad language. For instance, today is the third day of school, and his status last night was "F school. F homeswork. F life. F YOU." Only, not with just the "f"s if you know what I mean.

Now, he's been with my ex- for the past 5 days. I wouldn't be at all surprised if the "F you" is directed at her, since they're like oil and water. But I'm a little worried about the other stuff. Anyway, I get him back tonight so I'll see what's up with that.

But in the mean time, I can't stand seeing his status with all of the profanity. I don't let him use it in the house. Of course, I know he uses it with his friends. Heck, *I* use it with *MY* friends!

What do you think? Would YOU say something to him? Or just let it slide? I don't even care so much that he USES profanity. I just feel like posting it publicly is . . . a bad idea?

Thoughts?

~S

[IADad]

Well, it seems reasonable that you can have that frank of a conversation with him, that you know he uses profanity with his friends and you don't have a big problem with that, but there are times and places where it's not so wise and pretty innappropriate. Talk about how the thing you put out online have longer lives than intended sometimes.

I think this is part of growing up, he's pushing the limits of society and he can either learn by getting smacked sometime when something he posts costs him a job or a relationship or he can learn from talking about it with you , and in reality it's probably going to be a mix of both, because sometimes kids just need to experience something bad to learn.

I think it's important to try to tell him that words DO matter, they build peoples impressions of you and they can be powerful and can hurt, so he needs to be careful about how he uses them.

[stjohnjulie]

I think I would say something. Something my brother told me really stuck with me... he said that cursing is for the unimaginative. That really had impact on my...I worked in male dominated businesses for a long time and tended to talk like a trucker. I still curse, but not as much. You know the Orbit gum commercials??? They crack me up! They have a ton of imaginative "cursing" in them. They clearly get across the idea of a dirty mouth without using a single curse word. Maybe you could just mention to him that cursing in a public forum may not be the best idea. Too many people see it and it doesn't reflect well on his character. He may not care, but what the curse, it's worth it to mention it I think.

[1mom.4kids]

I would say something. I am 30 and I rarely use foul language in front of my parents. My mother just recently joined Facebook and my first throught when I accepted her friend request was to go and clean up all my posts. LOL It's a respect thing for me and my family. Would they correct me at this age if I did use foul language...no (well probably not)...but I know they wouldn't like it so I won't.

[Jeremy+3]

It wouldn't bother me, but that might be a cultural thing, here most people swear in conversation, they aren't really different or nasty words here when used in the correct context. Then again calling someone and f-ing wanker isn't considered rude either.

[superman]

honestly cuss words are just words. no more no less. hes a kid, let him be. if ur worried about wholl see it tell him to give those ppl "limited profile".
everyones gonna have different views on this cus it depends on how ur raised. i was raised with a no swearing household but i did/do anyways and my mom just learned to deal with it as long as i wasnt swearing @ her.

[martino]

I sure wouldn't let my kid get away with that. I'd tell him "wait till you are 18 to publicly use that language."

[Dadu2004]

Personally, I agree with Martino. Ya know, it's interesting...when kids are at home they're one way, but get them in a social setting it's completely different. Take for example Xbox. I get on there and there's kids that are very young just dropping F bombs everywhere and using language that would make a sailor cringe.

[mom2many]

If you weren't friends on facebook you wouldn't know about it. It's a big step to friend mom or dad and then know that they will see all that you post.

I am not anti-cussing, my older kids do it around me, why would I say "well they do it around their friends, but never around me" how hypocritical, they should be just as comfortable around me as they are their friends. Granted they keep it more in check at home cause of little ones, but cussing is only words, nothing more nothing less and as long as they aren't flying at me I don't care.

Give him his space to learn, talk to him and move on, let him decide where the line should be drawn.

[IADad]

i'm gonna have to disagree with the thoght that words are just words. Words are powerful conveyors of emmotion, they tell other people about us. Words start wars, words bring people together, make bonds, and for all you silver tongued devils out there words just may be responsible for creating a lot of new lives.

People make judgements about who you are based on the words you use. Right or wrong, I think it's preatty universally true.

So, my point is not to say "don't cuss." I swear, but I don't rely swearing to convey every thought in my head and I don't swear so casually that it's a uncontrolled part of my speech. So, I don't think it's right not to teach that words matter. I advocate teaching be careful with your words, be accurate with your words and be responsible for your words. Once they're out of your mouth (or off your fingers) they're hard to take back.