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Old 03-29-2012, 05:38 PM   #11
cybele
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Default Re: How to protect my children from Mormon cult?

Out of curiosity though, Parentastic, how does that work with kids who are raised strictly in religion, yet begin to reject said religion at a young age?

I only ask because I know quite a few kids like this, Lux really questions us on our spiritual lives, why we believe the things we do, and why we practice the things we do, and by the same token, I made it quite clear to my parents at a young age that I had no interest in their religion. I know several paernts of kids that my kids go to school with find the same thing, that kids, as young as 6 and 7 are stepping up and going "Wait, but I dont believe this"

So how much of an influence can a religious institution really have?
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Old 03-29-2012, 05:50 PM   #12
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Default Re: How to protect my children from Mormon cult?

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Originally Posted by cybele View Post
Out of curiosity though, Parentastic, how does that work with kids who are raised strictly in religion, yet begin to reject said religion at a young age?
There can be so many different answers to this. Developmentally speaking, children need certain things at certain stages (developmental stages). So if rejecting their parent's beliefs, for instance, provides them with the mean to assert their own identity (one of the key developmental stage), then it can be an explanation.
I would have to know each different context to answer. But globally - the influence is immense.
Even people who reject the christian religion at a later age end up having to deal with shame and guilt throughout most of their life. The influence is profound.
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Old 04-03-2012, 01:07 PM   #13
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Default Re: How to protect my children from Mormon cult?

Thanks, everyone, for your comments & suggestions.

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Originally Posted by cybele View Post
If you dont like what your children are being exposed to then you need to remove them from the environment. If you dont like what they are being taught in church, then either dont go, or find another church (not as in whole new religion, unless of course that is what you are after, but even a different, is it a reverend in the Moron church? Im not sure, but a different person presenting the church can make a big difference)

Its up to you what religious and moral beliefs you raise your children with, I raised my children very differently to the way I was raised as far as religion is concearned, but for that matter I moved about an hour away from my parents, which made things easier, but that still didnt prevent friction on the issue, if you want to make the change and take the children out of that religious environment, you cant expect to keep the peace, at least not in the short term.
When my husband is out of town, I've taken my kids to another church.
But that's rare.
There are good aspects of the church, but there are also bad aspects.
I want to make sure they believe me over their teachers, & I'm not sure if they will or not.

If I want my kids to have friends & to keep the peace with my husband, I need to allow them to go to church. (Practically EVERYONE is LDS around us - we live in probably the most Mormon of all Mormon towns!).
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Old 04-03-2012, 01:25 PM   #14
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Default Re: How to protect my children from Mormon cult?

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Originally Posted by GavinH View Post
Hi Mama - I believe my comments may stir a debate as many people have strong feelings about their religion but here it goes ...

All the things you describe about the Mormon/LDS folks can be equally applied to just about any main stream religion today and even the larger churches and religions can be labeled as a cult. Too many people get hung up on the sign outside the church or religious institution that they attend rather than looking at what they want out of it or can contribute to it.

My recommendation is to shop around ..... find a church, pastor or place that fits your personal beliefs and desires without feeling bound by the artificial constraints of any particular brand. The big thing however it to get out if you don't feel comfortable. Don't keep attending just to keep the peace .... that is the wrong reason to go to any church and I don't believe that any worthy God would want you to do that.
I agree, but there really aren't many other options here.
I do want my kids to have some religious involvement, even though I don't believe all scriptures as literal. I've read that some religious involvement tends to contribute to social & mental health.

I just need to find ways to explain to them that this is a harmful cult, in language they can understand. I realize everything can be considered a cult, but not to the extent of Mormonism is.

These are listed characteristics of a cult (as opposed to just a less cult-like group)...
Every one of these characteristics is part of the LDS/Mormon church:

1) Requires UNquestioning commitment to leader
2) Questioning, doubt, and dissent are discouraged or even punished
3) Leaders dictate how members should think, feel & act
4) Claims special, exalted status for itself/leaders
5) Polarized us-versus-them mentality
6) Leader is not accountable to any authorities
7) Teaches or implies that its supposedly exalted ends justify whatever means it deems necessary
8) Leadership induces feelings of shame and/or guilt in order to influence and/or control members
9) Preoccupied with bringing in new members.
10) Preoccupied with making money
11) Members are expected to devote inordinate amounts of time to the group and group-related activities
12) The most loyal members feel there can be no life outside the context of the group & fear reprisals to themselves or others if they leave (or even consider leaving) the group.
http://www.prem-rawat-talk.org/forum...cteristics.htm
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Old 04-03-2012, 01:29 PM   #15
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Default Re: How to protect my children from Mormon cult?

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How do you protect them from the teachings there? You don't take them there.
I wish it were that simple.
My husband & I have almost divorced over this.
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Old 04-03-2012, 01:32 PM   #16
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Default Re: How to protect my children from Mormon cult?

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Originally Posted by mom2many View Post
First welcome to the board!

I also live in heavy LDS community, I'd say at least 80% of the community is Mormon, the other 18% belong to some other religion and then I fall under the 2% percent that doesn't have any religion.

You are right there are some amazing aspects of the church, they are very community based, very family oriented. They also help when other members find themselves in trouble, more then any other religion I know. I was even on the receiving end once when we had a landlord that felt the need to convert us. The Bishop was amazing and so were the missionary.

The problem is with the doctrine, titthing is a sad reality of the church, most church's have some form of it. The difference is that in most church's it is voluntary in the LDS it isn't. As for this mall, I went and goggled it since I hadn't heard anything about it. It's a mall, a money making business only difference is it is owned by the church. People have the right to not shop there if they don't want to. While I find it funny, I don't find it offensive.

At the end of the day you are in control of your childrens spiritual education. If you feel that the church is no longer the right fit for you, don't go. I also think the term cult is a little strong. You have free will, that can not be taken from you unless you let it. So find a middle ground with your husband, or put your foot down.
Thank you Mom2many.
I've been raised in this cult & it is a cult, by many definitions.
Once you're in, it's harder than you think, seeing it from the outside.

I'm trying to find a middle ground with my husband, but it's tough!
All of our arguments seem to be about the church, because it's such a huge part of our lives! At least he recently agreed to stop paying tithing to the church & to pay it to those in need instead.
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Old 04-03-2012, 01:41 PM   #17
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Default Re: How to protect my children from Mormon cult?

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Originally Posted by bssage View Post
PM me if you like. I (and my family on my mothers side) are also from a mormon area. Nauvoo if that means anything to you? They have invaded again. And when I say invaded I mean invaded. Taken over almost all the business and much of the local government through the numbers of people they have moved into the community. They post and advise their congregation to only patronize lds business ect... They have quite literally snached the town from the locals over a 2 year period.

I wont go into my feelings of the lds. Suffice it to say I would be considered the opposite of a fan. I have a lot of education both by way of research and first hand how the church functions.

But I dont want to discourage any potential PF members or future members who may need some help and want to post on the forum. Thats why I am going to keep this vanilla.

I agree with Gavin and disagree with Gavin. I believe Gavin's solution is spot on. While I disagree with the comparison of lds to other religions. I wont get into it but you guys know what I mean by saying they do not hold true to other modern religions.

Also I am not sure everyone understands the OP. I think M2M does and am assuming this is the heart of Mama4ever's post.

The LDS I reffer to generally occupy large overwhelming majorities in the communities they reside. And quitting the church is more than just frowned upon. Its like turning against the community you live. Correct me if I am wrong but in the churches eyes Mama4's family will be traitors. Really I believe you are between a rock and a hard place. Because most the people you meet will know and not be very tolerant of you quitting the church. I think the best advice may simply not be reasonable. Which IMHO is to move. Is your husband still lds?

That what I got. I keep deleting what I write trying to keep it vanilla.
I didn't realize there's a "take 2" of Navoo history.
I appreciate your understanding regarding the bind I'm in.

You are exactly right about in the church's (& all members') eyes, we will be traitors. In fact, after asked my mom about some statistical facts (UT leading nation in anti-depressants) & church financial issues, she soon sent me this email about a celebrity labeled a "traitor." Maybe it was coincidence, but that was out of the blue & I'm thinking it was her way of calling me a traitor. When I have asked simple questions, I've been lectured on "apostasy" (falling away from the church) & the evils of Satan in persuading us to read non-LDS literature.

Yes, my husband is still LDS, & served a proselytizing mission, so he is very entrenched in his ideas. Yet, he is somewhat annoyed by the narrow minded attitude we often encounter in this area, so we've both considered moving. (Sigh) It would have to wait until I can start working more (when our youngest is in school full time).
But I realize, no matter where I live, there will be challenges - you know, "the grass is not always greener on the other side."

Last edited by Mama4ever; 04-03-2012 at 01:43 PM..
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Old 04-03-2012, 01:46 PM   #18
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Default Re: How to protect my children from Mormon cult?

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Originally Posted by BabyAngel View Post
To keep peace with who ? Between you and your husband ? With neighbors ?
The community ?

There is the perfect answer =

If you don't like being in a Mormon area, move. I don't think there is much that is as important as being in an area where you are comfortable to raise kids !
Yes, - peace between everyone, especially my husband.
We have considered moving, but I'm not sure where we'd go.
Most of our family is here or CA. Maybe CA, but in the areas where we have family, & where I grew up, I got into all kinds of trouble as a teenager. So, I worry about that too. I guess it's just trying to find the place that would be best to raise my kids in.
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Old 04-03-2012, 01:51 PM   #19
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Default Re: How to protect my children from Mormon cult?

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Originally Posted by NancyM View Post
Hi Mama4ever
Welcome.

I tend to agree that if you don't want your kids raised with these beliefs than you have to take them away from it all.

I also sense that you, seem to be struggling and a little intiminated with making the change. I think you have to get strong and stick to what you feel is right. There are plenty of good churches out there, and maybe you can start with more popular ones just to get your feet wet.

I mean instead of 'searching' and trying churches that are completely different than yours, and over modern maybe sit in with a traditional one a few times and meet some of the people who go there. you don't have to tell your religious business to them just try to enjoy it.

I don't know what else you can do. It's just a matter to getting strong and sticking to it and not caring what the others say.

Good luck to you
Thank you.
I'm thinking that if I just keep making sure my kids understand that there are good aspects & negative aspects of this cult, then maybe they'll be ok.
The part that is more concerning is when my kids will be expected & pressured to attend seminary & serve missions. I'm starting to talk to them about serving in humanitarian ways.

Does anybody have any advice about serving in areas of extreme poverty - like Peace Corp, etc?
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Old 04-03-2012, 01:54 PM   #20
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Default Re: How to protect my children from Mormon cult?

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Originally Posted by parentastic View Post
As some of the readers may already know, I am an agnostic and a non-religious person. So what I write here, to be clear, is not about Mormon cult, it's true of any cult or any religion.

Children's brain and developing mind. They are like sponges: their brains are designed to learn, to change, to model what they hear and see. They cannot make the difference between what's good or bad at first, not for many years, until their frontal cortex develops, which takes time. This is why they need parents and guides to help them develop their critical thinking.

Churches are designed to influence people. By definition, they are built, thought and oriented with one main goal, one main purpose: to transmit faith - something which by definition is at the polar opposite of critical thinking. It is there to teach and ingrain beliefs. So the bottom line is: if you put your children into a church on a regular basis from a young age, it is guaranteed to influence them in a very deep and profound way for the rest of their life, even if you try to counter-balance it in your home.
If that church follows the principles and values you want your children to follow, then that might be a valid choice.
Otherwise... think about this carefully.
I see what you mean.
And to some, I could be considered Agnostic, since I admit all thoughts are illusional (not 100% true but subjective & limiting). But I do believe in a God - Creation via attraction. As Aristotle explained, all events are preceded by another event, except the Prime Mover (aka "big bang")... The only way a Prime Mover could be prime/1st without changing or having any preceding event, is through attraction (love, that which motivates all energy & life to continue on).

Still, I believe & I've read that regular religious involvement (or something like it) helps contribute to raising kids well (along with having dinner together most days, parents helping with homework, etc.).

What I'm trying to do with my kids is develop critical thinking skills regarding inconsistencies in the church...
IE: They teach us to give, give, give (money, time etc.)
But they don't give any to the poor, despite Deut 14:28-29 which says 1/3 should go to the poor.

Last edited by Mama4ever; 04-03-2012 at 01:57 PM..
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