Crying reassurance

[Twin Wrangler]

Hey guys!

My wife and I have recently gotten into arguements lately about if we're doing a good job or not. The reasoning for us thinking that we're doing a bad job I that or twin girls cry every single day something 4-5 times a day. The most frustrating thing they cry about is when they don't get their way. We have tried redirection and ignoring. Hasn't worked yet. My wife thinks there is something mentally wrong with our children. My mother told me I cried everyday till I was 13 so I think it's normal, or at least decently normal because I turned out fine. Just looking for some advice, experiences and maybe reassurance. Thanks.

Mike

[Incogneato]

Our son cries every day.. he's 13 months old. If we leave the room to make his food, do chores, whatever.. he'll stand at the gate that keeps him on the "safe side" of the house and cry/wail. He cries for no apparent reason sometimes, other times he cries because his teeth are coming in and he's uncomfortable... he cries at night when he has a bad dream/night terrors... it's just alot of crying. We've pretty much gotten used to it and I'm sure he'll work out of it eventually.


My point.. is that babies cry...alot. I don't think it's necessarily an indicator of how good of a job you're doing as a parent.

[IADad]

I think crying at 2-3yo is one of those difficulty communicating things issues, same reason kids bite or throw things, their language deveoplemnt is at a stage where they can't communicate everything their brain wants to. they get frustrated. So, I agree with everything you're doing re-directing and not giving in when they cry to get what they want. Staying firm on that will pay you big dividends in a few years. At some point here I think you can use "when you're ready to stop crying we can talk about it, but I can't talk with you about it while you're crying."

[mom2many]

How old are they?

[IADad]

Originally Posted by mom2many

How old are they?

M2M - his intro post said 2 yo twins...

[mom2many]

Originally Posted by IADad

M2M - his intro post said 2 yo twins...

Well I completely missed that and I read the intro


Okay since they are only 2 it is completely normal. They have so much they want to do, so much they want to say, but they don;t have proper skills when it comes to dealing with it. Be patient and persistent and they will get it.

[Twin Wrangler]

Thank you all for the reassurance! I have the built in daddy mute but my wife has a harder time dealing with the crying and I almost have to restrain her to stop her from giving in to them. I feel, as long as I know they're ok, then they can cry till there hearts content. Thanks again

[NancyM]

Yes it's normal, they can't communicate any other way. That's how they express what they want, or don't want. And yeah they cry when they can't get they want because they just live for the moment. If you walk out of a room, they have no clue that you'll be back in a minute, they just see that you're gone right now. It's forever to them.
They have NO concept of time.

If they want something they can't have, they don't realize that in a few minutes they will play with another toy and will be happy!! You have to show them that. They live for the moment!

If you ignore them they don't understand that, It scares them, your the two people they need the most, they think you don't hear them and probably yell louder.

Babies think they are the only things that exisit. They don't know any better yet. They will eventually, but you have to help them by showing them your always going to respond to their needs. It gives them a sense of security. And slowly but surely they will become less dependent.

You just have to keep going to them, handing them toys if they loose them, comforting them, maybe holding them, than put them down with another distraction, or maybe separate them a little and see what happens. lol might be interesting.

Two year olds are tough, I can't imagine having 2 of them at one time, so you have my blessing there.

Good luck.

[tadamsmar]

Deleted

[tadamsmar]

Keep ignoring and praise them when they stop crying specifically for their self control. Give lots of face time when they are not crying.

What you describe seems to be in the normal range for 2 yos. But it's not too early to start laying the groundwork for the future as IADad pointed out.