Do you follow 'traditional' gender roles?

[csdax]

I was busy working in my garden, today, teaching my 2 year old daughter how to mix concrete and set fence posts. Being an environmentalist, I was working on my latest project of building a raised platform for a 175 gallon rainwater tank for my vegetable garden.

In our house, we don't follow traditional gender roles at all. David does ALL the cooking and was the one who got up in the middle of the night to feed the kids when they were babies. When he's home he does probably 75% of the diaper changes. I'm the fixer, builder, I put up the shelves, and plumbed in the dishwasher. When we built a 'loft' in the garage for storage above the vehicles, I did most of the design and planning then we built it together, with me giving directions. David and I are both mechanical engineers, but he doesn't have the practical experience of DIY projects. (Left up to him, our loft would have been designed to withstand a magnitude 9 earthquake, been built out of stainless steel and would have cost more than the house.)

We built a deck three years ago. David designed the 'aesthetics' of what he wanted it to look like and I designed the structural part. When we actually built it, it was the hottest two weeks of the summer and I was six months pregnant. But I was out there doing everything that didn't involve heavy lifting, because there was no way I could let our then two year old daughter see Daddy and Granddad building a deck while the women brought them drinks.

Maybe it's just because I spend my time hanging around more 'typical' stay-at-home moms at playgroups, instead of being back in the engineering world, but I sometimes get the impression that I'm the only mom I know who can use a hammer. Is it really that unusual for people not to conform to the usual gender stereotypes?

[IADad]

No, we aren't stuck on traditional roles. I do most of the cooking and laundry, but also all of the diy stuff as I have the background for that. I probably did most of the diaper duty and I've always been the middle of the night on call for the kids guy. DW brings home the bigger paycheck. We also don't view our relationship aa50//50 deal, we prefer to think of it aa 100/100 split of duties, that way there's a chance everything might get done. And don't worry about the commas,I overuse ellipses way too much...

[singledad]

I can't really be bothered either way.

I have no problem doing traditionally "female" chores, but neither would I expect a SO to do traditionally "male" jobs if she didn't feel comfortable with it. In other words: I would most definitely not expect a pregnant SO to help me with DIY projects in the sun , but if it was that important to her, I'd be happy to accept her help. I just think there are more important considerations than gender stereotypes to look at when deciding who does what. Things like available time, ability, preference (ie. one partner might actually enjoy a particular task), etc.

I have to admit, though - I do get frustrated with women who act like they cannot possibly operate a hammer or screw driver. Amazingly, it is often the women who are wholly incapable of doing any traditionally male task, who complain the loudest that their husbands don't help out around the house enough...

[akmom]

My husband and I have pretty traditional gender roles. However, if I want something, I have to build it myself! That also means shoveling snow, mowing the lawn, and cutting/splitting firewood - pregnant or not.

I do almost 100% of the childcare. Part of that is because we chose to breastfeed, so that kind of cut him out of night feedings. But he also never changed diapers, bathed babies or dressed them, and there's no physiological barrier to those tasks!

I think we are both capable of doing almost any of the work, but I have been a stay-at-home mom since we had kids, so in reality I am the one who has time to do housework. So that's how we have divided things.

[stjohnjulie]

I've been in a relationship where the man's mechanical knowledge was limited to changing the batteries in the remote (and sometimes he needed help with that). But he still expected me to do all the 'woman's" work too.

My husband doesn't like me to do the 'man's work', but he has NO PROBLEM doing all the woman's work too. With our little one, he does most of the diaper changing and bathing because he goes to work later than I do and works less.

I've always enjoyed anything that involved construction. I worked for a couple of summers doing roofing, even more time being a painter, and still get all star eyed over power tools. I think it's best to instill in our kids that you should learn how to do things for yourself. It's an awesome feeling to be able to take care of yourself in every aspect from being able to remove the stain from your shirt to change the tire on your car.

My husband and I don't really have many tasks that are "his job" or "my job". I mean... I don't know how to change the breaks on my car, and he really can't use a computer, but that is when we ask each other for help

[cybele]

Were pretty evenly spread amongst things.

We both cook
We both clean
We both do gardening
We both take care of the kids
We both go to work

[NancyM]

Originally Posted by singledad

I can't really be bothered either way.

I have no problem doing traditionally "female" chores, but neither would I expect a SO to do traditionally "male" jobs if she didn't feel comfortable with it. In other words: I would most definitely not expect a pregnant SO to help me with DIY projects in the sun , but if it was that important to her, I'd be happy to accept her help. I just think there are more important considerations than gender stereotypes to look at when deciding who does what. Things like available time, ability, preference (ie. one partner might actually enjoy a particular task), etc.

Awww that's cute.

I have to admit, though - I do get frustrated with women who act like they cannot possibly operate a hammer or screw driver. Amazingly, it is often the women who are wholly incapable of doing any traditionally male task, who complain the loudest that their husbands don't help out around the house enough...

Not this part though SD... lol I hate hammers, and would rather touch a bug (which I hate more) than use one. My husband works for the state in construction and building, so he's the man, so to speak for all that stuff. I do have my own tool box however, just don't open it much.

I have helped over the years with painting, and spackling. but didn't like one single minute of it.

I have to say I'd rather stick with traditional roles.

I never expected my husband to do 'female' jobs either although he is the cook in our family because he claims it's relaxing and really loves it. (which is fine with me lol) I do the cleaning though.

I do agree though that which ever partner is the one who's happens to be home more should do most of the house hold work. I think that's just common courtesy to the other.

[singledad]

Originally Posted by NancyM

lol I hate hammers, and would rather touch a bug (which I hate more) than use one. My husband works for the state in construction and building, so he's the man, so to speak for all that stuff. I do have my own tool box however, just don't open it much.

LOL - no, you don't need to be a DIY ninja. My gripe is with women who refuse to do traditionally male jobs, yet expect their husbands to help out with traditionally female jobs... It doesn't sound like you match that description

[mom2many]

My husband has the more traditional male role model, and I have the more traditional female model. However, I tend to do a lot of the DIY stuff. My husband has always made sure that when it comes to the cars I know my way around, which I do. That doesn't mean that we can't do each other's 'role's' it's just the way it works out. More because of his schedule then anything.

[NancyM]

Oh yeah the tire thing. My husband gave me that lesson too...I said thank you and pretended to be grateful but... I have AAA, my son, or one of my 3 big nephews if I get a flat. lol I never changed one and don't plan to. Not to mention I couldn't tighten the screws tight enough for me to feel safe driving it. If I could ever get them off that is.

I use to call my brother for everthing even when I was married because he would just come for me, I guess thats because we were raised the same way. lol

I'm really extremely self sufficient, it's just those certain (smelly) things I don't like to do. (And car tires do smell!)