Time for potty training

[mom2many]

Potty training. Those words can strike fear in many first-time parents. When should we start? How do we start? Is our child ready? Should we use rewards? Should we start with pull-ups or go straight to underwear? Those are just a few questions that will run through every parent's head.

Even as a veteran parent, I think it can be a bit confusing. I admit I am not the best about bottle breaking (that is my parenting weakness), but I'm a pro at potty training . . . or so I thought.

Every one of my children was potty trained right after their second birthday. I was armed with a carpet cleaner and every room had a potty chair. I was good to go. Sure, the first day or two was messy, but after that they would catch on. Within a week they would have it down pat and short of an accident here and there, they were potty trained.

Then came my last child. A beautiful little girl who challenged every notion I had ever had about potty training.

She was stubborn, completely capable, but unwilling to work with me. I remember when she was about 2 years old. I decided we were going to give it a go, and a go she gave it. Within an hour she had managed to pee on a puppy! She knew what she was doing; you could see it in her eyes and hear it in her laugh. After cleaning the pup up and explaining that we do not pee on our pets, I got her to use the potty. Great! I thought. Until she decided to tip a kitchen plunger I had upside down and pee in it. The final straw was when she tried to pee in a cup.

She was ready. She just wasn’t willing to play the game.

I tried off and on for the next two months, and since she still would not give in I decided to just wait a little longer. Then at 2.5 years old she sat down and has not looked back. I can’t really say what changed, but I am very thankful to finally be done with diapers.

So what can parents look for to help them make the transition a little easier?

While the average age for potty training is around 2 years old, some kids can take much longer. It’s not uncommon for some kids to not be ready till they reach the age of 4.

From a mental standpoint, a child's brain needs to be able to receive the message that the bladder is full. Typically this happens between 18-22 months of age, but again, every child is different. Physically, a child needs to be able to dress and undress themselves. They should be able to reach the seat with a stool, though a little help from mom and dad is okay. They also have to be able to recognize the need to go. Developmentally, they need to want to be independent. It’s important that they want to be responsible for themselves.

As a parent you need to be able to read their cues. If they are not telling you they have gone to the bathroom, then they are probably hiding in a corner somewhere looking for privacy.

[bssage]

Good article M2M.

I do not pretend even to be good at this. But in the 6, 1/2 yrs it took to train Chloe I hit on a couple of things.

Our toilets are designed for adults. And because of her diet she had difficult movements. She experienced much less stress using an elevated surface for her feet when making a bowl movement. Less stress also created less anxiety and more of a willingness for her to go when asked.

Also a few structured times I believe were helpful. Every morning first thing right out of bed. As soon as she returned from school. And right before bed. Over time she began to anticipate our request. Really that made things easier for us.

[stjohnjulie]

Peed on the puppy!!! lol! Maybe that was just payback With my oldest, I started putting him on the potty, with a small seat, when he was really little. We would do that in the evening before bath when he would typically have a BM. We spent a lot of time on that potty before he was ready to really be potty trained. Sometimes we would get lucky and he would have a BM, and I would make a big deal out of it, and when he was ready to read the cues on his own, he was ready. I also had the potty chair in the living room, and since we are in the tropics, we had lots of naked time around our house. It was easier for him to know it was time to go if he didn't have any clothes on. Being in the tropics, carpet is unheard of, so I got lucky there. All tile floors made clean up a heck of a lot easier. With my little guy, we are spending time on the potty too. He loves to sit there and mess around...sometimes we get lucky... but mostly it's just to get him used to the potty. He is also encouraged at daycare. Most of the kids there are well into potty training, and he wants to do what they do. I think it's time for us to put the potty chair in the living room, roll up the area run, and let him run around naked

[IADad]

Actual training went pretty easily for us with both boys.

I'm having trouble with the 5 yo now, with unpredictable nighttime wetting. We of course try to dry him out before bedtime, and be sure he goes last thing before sleep and first thing in the morning. Sometimes he stays dry, sometimes he wets the "underjams" we've resorted to. I can get goo results if I get him up late at night, but I'm trying to normalize my sleep schedule and not be up as late as well as, I'm not sure getting him up at a time he doesn't feel the urge really trains anything.

It seems that he just doesn't wake up, not for the urge to go, not even for the feeling of wetness.

I think in part this is just a matter of letting his body mature. I just can't think of anything I can do to help him either hold through the night or wake up to go.

It's not an every night thing, 4-5 nights out of the week, he's fine. We're trying not to make a big deal out of it, just not sure if there's anything else we can do.

[tadamsmar]

My 10 yo grandson was over all last week. My wife is complaining about lots of urine on the floor near the toilets, including one with hardwood floors.

I did a quick web search and did not get much help. I did learn that even adult men miss sometimes, and I can't deny it at 61 yo.

My wife had discussed it with his mom after an earlier visit. She thinks he just gets in a hurry.

Here's my plan.The kid likes video games. I figure I will point out to him that there are some real world first person shooter games. Actually, I won't do it that way, I won't tell him directly. I will ask him if there are any real world first person shooter games that he plays every day and let him discover it himself.

I plan to get him to look at hitting the target as a challenge.

I might even put a point chart in the bathroom and let him rack up points.

Or, if I get really ambitious, I will mount a monitor on top of the commode, install sensors to detect the direction of the stream, and write a video game to turn this into a actual first person shooter video game.

[tadamsmar]

There is a trick (from the Chinese I think). Train boys to do it all (both 1 and 2) sitting down initially. Makes things go faster with less of a mess.

I am sure that everyone will now post telling me this technique is needless, unnatural, outdated, age inappropriate, and abusive ;-)

[mom2many]

Julie...pee'd on the puppy. Stood right over him and let it flow.

bssage...Ted was a challenge also, because of his learning disabilities. I was lucky though. Once he got it, he got it.

IADad...it happens. There is a watch out there that is supposed to help retrain over tired little brains. It might be something to think about. If it started in the summer then I would say you guys are sufficiently wearing him out

tadamsmar....I taught all of my boys to sit first: stand later. As for hitting the floor, it's normal. Just keep some cleaning wipes by the toilet and ask him to clean up when he is done.

[bssage]

Originally Posted by IADad

I can get goo results if I get him up late at night,

If you ever get your spell checker fixed I will be sad. that said I dont think I would get him up late at night. Let it have time to dry a little.

[tadamsmar]

Originally Posted by mom2many

Just keep some cleaning wipes by the toilet and ask him to clean up when he is done.

That's a good idea. I will do that, ask him to clean up. He probably will not do it without some prompting. But I have had some luck getting him to do other tasks. If he is playing on the computer, I typically walk up close and say "You can come back to the computer after you have cleaned up around the toilet." He has always responded well to that approach for tasks like taking a bath or brushing his teeth.

[akmom]

My kids potty-trained pretty easily too. Both started just a few weeks before their second birthday, and took 1-2 weeks to really get the hang of it. Everyone told me not to use pull-ups, so we didn't. I just put them straight into cloth training pants, without the plastic covers. I really do think they need to get wet to make that connection.

Tadamsmar, I laughed when I read your post, because my mom described using the same technique with my little brother... long before the days of videogames! He got rewards for good aim. Of course he was 2 or 3 at the time, not 10. I think little boys should sit down, simply because they tend to be in such a hurry that they will put off #2 if they're not already sitting there.

IADad, have you used a bedwetting alarm? One of ours continued bedwetting long after potty-training. Once in a blue moon there would be a dry night, but wetting was the norm. We tried limiting fluids, increasing fluids, bathroom breaks before bed, throughout the night, etc. A pediatrician recommended a bedwetting alarm, and it worked. It took the full 12 weeks of using it, but now there's never any bedwetting. It's been almost a year. It attaches to underwear and won't work with any kind of diaper (too absorbent), but you can lay down a waterproof pad to keep the bedding dry.