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11-07-2007, 01:03 PM
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#1 |
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PF Fiend
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Funny Quote/Joke Of The Day
startin a daily funny quote/joke thread ill update it every morning. just to give us something to chuckle at every day.
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it. One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice. "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man. "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, what?" The man replied, "I work for the IRS."
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Cause and effect, chain of events All of the chaos makes perfect sense When you're spinnin round, things come undone Welcome to Earth 3rd rock from the Sun
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11-07-2007, 01:35 PM
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#2 |
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PF Addict
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Re: Funny Quote/Joke Of The Day
LOL Good one!
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11-07-2007, 05:27 PM
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#3 |
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PF Regular
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Re: Funny Quote/Joke Of The Day
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
I'll have to tell that one to Hubby!
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11-07-2007, 05:33 PM
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#4 |
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PF Addict
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Re: Funny Quote/Joke Of The Day
lol THATS JUST HOW THE IRS MAKES THE SELF EMPLOYED FEEL....LIKE A WRINKLED LEMON. DAMN IRS.
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11-08-2007, 06:20 AM
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#5 |
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PF Fiend
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Re: Funny Quote/Joke Of The Day
A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to." "Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted. "Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it." After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset." "Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?" "Under the wagon."
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Cause and effect, chain of events All of the chaos makes perfect sense When you're spinnin round, things come undone Welcome to Earth 3rd rock from the Sun
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11-08-2007, 07:08 AM
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#6 |
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Super Moderator
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Re: Funny Quote/Joke Of The Day
I like that one
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11-08-2007, 07:28 AM
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#7 |
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PF Fiend
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Re: Funny Quote/Joke Of The Day
Yeah me too. i sifted through alot till i found this one. ive been firguring i should try to keep it clean in this forum
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Cause and effect, chain of events All of the chaos makes perfect sense When you're spinnin round, things come undone Welcome to Earth 3rd rock from the Sun
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11-08-2007, 07:43 AM
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#8 |
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PF Deity
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Re: Funny Quote/Joke Of The Day
cute lol
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11-08-2007, 02:57 PM
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#9 |
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PF Addict
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Re: Funny Quote/Joke Of The Day
I gotta tell that one to my Ma.
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11-09-2007, 06:23 AM
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#10 |
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PF Fiend
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Re: Funny Quote/Joke Of The Day
here. this one is for you ladies out there
There was a perfect man and a perfect woman. They met each other at a perfect party. They dated for two perfect years. They had the perfect wedding and the perfect honeymoon. They had two perfect children. One day the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving in there perfect car, they saw an elf by the side of the road, being the perfect people they were they picked him up. Well as the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving with the elf, somehow they got into an accident. Two people died and one lived. Who died and who lived? The perfect woman, because the perfect man and elves aren't real.
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Cause and effect, chain of events All of the chaos makes perfect sense When you're spinnin round, things come undone Welcome to Earth 3rd rock from the Sun
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