Second Toddler Issues

[lyricb]

With my first baby, I could spend so much time with giving her attention and disciplining her patiently and systematically. When our second joined the family, though, we were so busy with the two kiddos that I have noticed that he just isn't getting disciplined as rigidly as she did at his age (18 months) and it's starting to show...that kid won't take direction for anything.

Does anyone else have the same problem, and if so, what have you done?

[tater03]

I to have this exact same problem with my youngest. I know it is because I just let things go with the youngest that I didn't with the older child. Now like you said I am paying for it. The only thing I can tell you is I am now making sure that I take the time to disipline him. Has not been easy in the least but the way I look at it is better late than never. The other problem I am finding with my youngest is he really doesn't seem to care when I take away something from him. That and he has no one special toy that I can ground him from.

[SageMother]

Originally Posted by lyricb

With my first baby, I could spend so much time with giving her attention and disciplining her patiently and systematically. When our second joined the family, though, we were so busy with the two kiddos that I have noticed that he just isn't getting disciplined as rigidly as she did at his age (18 months) and it's starting to show...that kid won't take direction for anything.

Does anyone else have the same problem, and if so, what have you done?

This is fairly common. If you look at families or talk to kids that have siblings. The oldest will talk about how strict the parents were with him or her and then talk about how lax they are with the younger kids.

Be thankful that you are noticing this now and not when they are suddenly teenagers and the problems with discipline are spilling over to their community interaction.

If you can remember to apply the same rules with your younger child that you did with the first, you can nip this in the bud. You will also need to change your discipline style to attain the same goals because your energy IS spread out!

What helped me was to shorten the steps between non-compliance and consequence because patience was just allowing time for more non-compliance. I would "request" at a normal voice level once, then request again with a sterner demeanor...not the screaming me-me's mind you, and then the child went to time-out or what ever the consequence was.

With those who are too young for time outs, its really important to evaluate what they are doing that they should be disciplined for but are not. You might be able to remove the opportunities for misbehavior easier than adding discipline!

[lyricb]

You all give me hope. My son is at an age, I think , where there is still time for me to alter his behavior. At least that is what I would like to think.

[Sam]

Originally Posted by lyricb

You all give me hope. My son is at an age, I think , where there is still time for me to alter his behavior. At least that is what I would like to think.

There is still time, he is still young so you shouldnt worry