My 7 year old is discouraged..

[LiannC]

She is all upset because she cant seem to make friends. I try telling her that she cant be mean and rude to them.. She is very smart.. straight A's... But her attitude towards others stinks. Any advice?

[SageMother]

This is a tough one. It takes time to learn whether or not having lots of friends is going to be a feature in your life.

Sometimes things get better during puberty, but in the mean time you might try some role playing exercises to see if she can learn a gentler approach, assuming that is the issue. If she is smart and others are envious then you might need to find a playgroup or some extracurricular activity for brighter children.

YOu might also try introducing some things she can use a scoping skills that don't involve cooperating with others. Arts and Crafts can be great for that. A sketch pad on the playground might be disconcerting to teachers so you might have to give strict orders that she be allowed to sit and sketch when she chooses. This way she can get through te school day feeling better about herself without that depending on who likes her.

[LiannC]

thanks for your advice.

[mamab]

Is her attitude one of superiority, or that she just doesn't like other kids? Perhaps she deals better with people that are older than she, in that case, I'd suggest that both of you do some volunteering at a nursing home or something where she can be around people that NEED a little bit of "kid" time. If she likes kids that are younger than she, perhaps you can help with a nursery class at church. She also may be having a problem because she IS smart, and the other kids feel intimidated. I hope one of the suggestions will help.

[happy2bg33k]

That's a tough one. I think MamaB has some good questions to consider. I also wonder, is she upset because she wants friends or because she thinks she should have them? Some kids are content to interact with other kids in school or church and are happily loners outside of that.