Spanking Children

[meow_173]

Parents and experts alike often hold different opinions on whether spanking is an appropriate way to control a child who is misbehaving. The law assumes that spanking a child to ‘correct’ the child’s behavior is not against the law as long as the force used is reasonable.

"Every schoolteacher, parent or person standing in the place of a parent is justified in using force by way of correction toward a pupil or child, as the case may be, who is under his care, if the force does not exceed what is reasonable under the circumstances." Criminal Code of Canada.

There is often a fine line between spanking a child and physical abuse of a child. If the force used slips into abusive, harmful or degrading conduct, it could result in a criminal charge or trigger a child protection investigation.

This is what has been deemed not reasonable:
· Hitting a child under two years of age. It is wrong and harmful because spanking has no value with very young children and can destroy a child's sense of security and self-esteem. Children under two do not have the cognitive ability to understand why someone is spanking them.

· Corporal punishment of teenagers. It is not helpful and is potentially harmful to use force on teenagers because it achieves only short-term obedience and may alienate the youth and promote aggressive or other anti-social behaviour.

· Using objects to discipline a child such as belts, rulers, etc. This is potentially harmful both physically and emotionally.

· Slaps or blows to the head.

· Degrading or inhumane treatment.

· Corporal punishment which causes injury – (causing harm is child abuse).

**Info found at: **
http://www.legal-info-legale.nb.ca/showpub.asp?id=147&langid=1

I have a group on Facebook, Hot Moms!, and we are just starting this topic. thought this would be a great debate topic and should generate a good response/debate.

What are your opinons on spanking or using "reasonable Force" to correct a child who has been misbehaving? What do you consider "reasonable force"? Do you yourself spank your children? Do other family members spank your children with or without your knowledge?

[Kaytee]

I do not spank. I do not feel it is appropriate to hit my child and would kick someones arse if they ever laid a hand on my child.

[musicmom]

If my child does something silly I might thump him on his head but not to hurt them.
The ONLY time I spank and it's more for the "shock" value is when they hurt each other or they do something really dumb where they could injure themselves. So they might get a swack on the butt. I would never hurt them or spank them to degrade them.

[meow_173]

I wouldn't hurt my son either in that respect

[Kaytee]

The ONLY time I spank and it's more for the "shock" value is when they hurt each other or they do something really dumb where they could injure themselves.

but what are you teaching them when you hit them for hitting. Not saying you hit them hard or whatever, just curious.

[meow_173]

And thats exactly why i don't spank Luke

[musicmom]

Originally Posted by Kaytee

but what are you teaching them when you hit them for hitting. Not saying you hit them hard or whatever, just curious.

It's more like stamping the moment. Since they do not normally get a swat when they do they will remember what it was for.
When my daughter was little she used to bite. I bit her back and she never bit again. So the theory of "hit them for hitting" doesn't ring true.
If my son does something to my daughter she's allowed to do it back so he knows how it feels. I have never had a problem and they have never done whatever it was again.

[Kaytee]

glad that works for you but I think that can really backfire

[musicmom]

You like to say "but" alot. Why the negativity? My children are wonderful kids. What would back fire is for a child to have no form of discipline and be let loose into the real world with no form of reference to look back on. Hmmm I wonder if I should stick a knife in the toaster....I did it once and mom only put me in "time out" that was no big deal...sure lets get the knife. Now that's back firing!

[NaNaJennifer]

I think it is so very sad that in 2008 so many parents still associate discipline with physical violence. I raised two kids, a boy and girl, while single and I never, ever felt compelled to strike my children.

My kids are grown now (20 & 15) and are still afraid of upsetting me. But it's because they respect me and want me to be proud of them...not because they've been trained to fear physical pain.

The thing is, it takes a lot more patience, time, and creativity to discipline your kids without hurting them. Many parents who employ violence as a means of training just don't have the knowledge or desire to put in the extra work non-violent discipline requires.

Please parents...please, don't raise your kids in an environment of pain and fear.