my 3 year old needs discipline

[om_eyad]

hi mumyz..im a mum of a 3 year old boy and a 2 month baby girl..my son is driving me crazy, im beginnig to lose control ..he is stoburn and behaves badly with grown ups, keeps on saying bad words.i tried everything to stop this attitude ..but in vain..im quite sure that the arrival of my baby girl is one of the major reasons and that this age is a pain in the neck but the question is how can i stop this especially in public ...i can control him well at home but in public ,i cant ...my relatives keep on saying leave him ,,do that ,dont do that..and they screw up everything, ...plz help

[Kaytee]

From Musicmom

I meant in a new post of your very own. lol So others will see it. Maybe a moderator will open one for you.
If we respond to you it's call "hijacking" the original posters post. I didn't want to be rude to them...but whateverrrrrrrrrr..hahaha
Let me first start by saying welcome and I hope you stick around This is a cool crew here.
My children are 7,6,6. I can tell you from experience that three years olds are the WORST!!!!!!! This is the age where they are testing YOU, they want to know how far is mom going to go, what can I do to get her attention (rather it's negative or positive attention) usually they get negative attention.
You could try sitting him down and explaining "good attention from mommy" and "bad attention from mommy" and let him make his choice. Like this...
"Bobby, I really do not like the way you are behaving and I'm going to give you a choice. Do you want mommy's good attention or bad attention?" of course he will say "good" (or I don't care, as three year olds do) and you say "then this is what you need to do to get it"
It's time he makes some choices on his behavior himself. The punishment is up to you but let him have a say in continuing his behavior.
Try a behavior chart. Kids LOVE gold stars, they love to see their accomplishments. They LOVE to have alone time with mom or dad.
They really don't want your negative attention but if that's all they can get then so be it. It's better then nothing.
A new baby can most definitly cause issues. Start calling it "his" baby. Have him help and compliment him a lot.
You just had a baby and your hormones are out of whack. I know, I had three at one time! Try and get breaks if you can. Try and remember patience. Keep a picture of his sweet sleeping face in your mind to keep your patience. You will do it fine, it takes time with a new baby. Two months is still settling in and he is still learning.
Big thing is to follow through, if you do not give him "his time" then he will know that and he will no longer do what you asked.
Keep coming here for support.
__________________

[musicmom]

Thank you KT. You got around to it faster then I would have. I appreciate that. *handing you moderator of the week award*

[om_eyad]

so any more advice for me mumies............

[fallon]

at his age I would say a reward system for good behavior would work wonders...what have you tried? what hasn't worked so well? what had some postive effects? Is there a certain time of day his behavior is worse than others? what's his schedual like during the day?

[om_eyad]

well...ive tried alot..stickers,computer,colouring sheets ,sweets ,puzzles as rewards..but as soon as he finishes these things everything goes upside down agian so i begin to punish (time out,deprive him from computer, not talking to him)he is stuborn so as if i dont do anything ..The only thing that worked was staying in my room alone not allowing him to enter "well great"but what shall i do when were out .he goes to nursery from 8 to 4 ,what u wont blive is that he behves there v.well and teachers have no promblem ..it all begins when he arrives till he sleeps at8 or 9.

[fallon]

I don't have a hard time believeing that he behaves away from home...a lot of kids are like this. I would say he's testing his limits with you. If you aren't consistant with him he may see you as a push over. What kind of behavior are you punishing him for? Like if he says a bad word...what happens next?

[FooserX]

If he behaves away from home, then the problem is you.

Like Fallon said - be consistent!

What's the dad doing in all of this?

I think a lot of the problem is that parents want to ask two and 6 times for kids to do something. Therefore, they learn that they don't NEED to listen until the parent gets mad. Ask once, if they don't listen...threaten to take away desset or a toy, and if they don't listen, carry out the punishment.

It's so simple, even a MusicMom could do it!

[musicmom]

Fooser, you are so jealous!

[om_eyad]

well half an hour ago , he said a bad word and smacked me on the leg so i left him without a word a nd sat in my room alone ,he kept crying 4 about 3 min. then i opened the door telling him is that gonna happen agian ..he replied no & a kiss so i hugged and kissed him telling him if u behave well u will c th best in me ,but of course if u dont u will c the worst mum ever..now he is asleep