why do toddlers hit?

[Lissa]

My son just started hitting me for no reason. Not out of anger or frustration, but just to, well, get a reaction I think. I really don't know why he does it. I don't know if I should ignore him, hit him back so he knows how it feels or put him in a time out. I can understand children hitting because they've been spanked or they've seen other children hitting, but this isn't the case. I don't know where he learned it from. Any advice?

[Trina]

Normal toddler behavior. All kids go through this, some more so than others. A good article here:
My Toddler Hits Me and other expert advice - FamilyEducation.com

[Lissa]

So if I use the time out method, do I keep putting him in the time out spot until he stays there a full minute?

[Trina]

Oliver may be too young for Time Out. He doesn't understand the context of time, and you would be struggling to keep him there, besides the fact that he wouldn't get the point. I don't think Time Outs are effective until a child is at least 2, and even then, they don't work for all kids. In your case, I think a firm, "No hitting," and either stopping the activity at hand or redirecting him to something else will suffice. Of course, you'll have to do this over and over again until he gets the message.

[Lissa]

Ok. Thanks.

But do you know why he is hitting? He is with me more than he is with his dad and he never hits him. And like I said, he's not doing it because he's mad. It's almost like he's playing.

[Trina]

He probably is playing, but as a toddler, he's not yet aware that hitting isn't an acceptable behavior. Since toddlers aren't able to verbalize their thoughts and feelings, etc. they come out in physical ways. Don't worry, this too shall pass! And then on to different parenting challenges Never a dull moment! LOL!

[HappyMomma]

I think he's just exploring and learning more about the world around him. Like Trina said, he's not yet aware that it isn't acceptable.

[Lissa]

Thanks. That makes me feel better. He really isn't a mean kid at all. He has a wonderful personality. That's why I was so disturbed when he started hitting.

[Lissa]

Originally Posted by Mindy

Did you happen to notice what YOU were doing at the particular times he hit you? You said that it seems like he's doing it to get a reaction, so maybe it's when you are busy doing something and he knows hitting you will get a reaction out of you? Just a thought

I was sitting on the floor watching him play and he just came up to me out of no where and started hitting me on the head and laughing.

But I also agree, it could just be a phase... I don't remember his age, but he's approaching the terrible two's isn't he?

Yes, the 2s are fast approaching!

[HappyMomma]

Originally Posted by Lissa

Yes, the 2s are fast approaching!

Oh.. just wait till you get to the fours! It's the terrible twos x 2.