This way of life totally baffles me - Polygamy

[Trina]

Video - Breaking News Videos from CNN.com

[Kaytee]

while I personally do not agree with it. I don't see anything really wrong with it ether. As long as all are happy that are involved, then why the heck not. I see more dysfuntion in a "modern" fmaily half the time anyways.
Again I would not do it personally and I would be concerned if my child did it, but at the same time, they just live their lives bothering no one. The video was good though and even they don't want their children getting married young.

[Kaytee]

oh wanted to add that it is rediculous that these people are arrested for this type of thing, If my husband cheated on me he would not go to jail for it.

[jtee]

I personally don't have problem with it except for the issue of polygamist parents pressuring children to maintain the lifestyle. Now of course this isn't much of an issue for men because if boy grows up and decides he only wants one wife, and is free to choose his wife, he doesn't have have a second wife. However, my limited understanding polygamists group often have arranged marriages for young girls get married as teenagers to men who are 1-2 generations older than them, and the expectation is she is to become pregnant ASAP. To me this reeks of men using polygamy to justify their sexual interest in teenage girls.

To be fair, people who practice Polygamy have wide range of criteria as to what they will and won't do. Some/many would never consider forcing their teenage daughter to marry a man she does not love. At the far end, a fundamentalist polygamist is likely to believe it is "God's Will" that the daughters of Polygamist parents are to have arranged marriages to men that are as old, or older than their father.

Given that our society does not accept Polygamy in general, it is hard for fundamentalists to impose their beleifs on their children, but I am sure there are still girls who's parents force them to be very young brides to men they would not naturally, out of love and attraction, choose on her own.

[Claire64]

I also don't have a problem with polygamy. It's certainly not for me, but if these people strongly believe that it's the right thing for them to do, and they're happy, who are we to say that they shouldn't?


I actually met a polygamist family last year. My son was in a soccer tournament in Arizona and there was one boy on the other team who's dad had 4 wives. My son went to this family's home for pizza after a game and I got to talking with his mom. There were 4 moms, 13 kids, ranging in age from a couple of months to 18 years old. The dad owned his own business and they lived in a large home, a bit like the one in that video.

Up until I met them, I always pictured polygamist families in their long dresses, living in a compound or something. This family was so normal
and their kids played soccer and video games and that really changed my opinion on polygamy.

Edit: I forgot to add that the oldest girl in this family was 18 and about to start university. She wasn't engaged or married and it seemed like she was going to finish university before she started thinking about that.

[HappyMomma]

I suppose one of the positives would be that you would have plenty of help with the kiddos.

[Trina]

I didn't say anything bad about it, although it is illegal. *I* just can not fathom sharing my DH with multiple women, and LIVING with all of them and his/their/our kids under the same roof. NO way.

It also bothered me when one woman said, referring to one husband/one wife marriages, that many of us don't have "committed relationships". WTH?! DH and I are definitely in a committed relationship, and have been for 22 yrs, happily married almost 20. We are committed to each other and not anyone else.

Different strokes for different folks...

[jtee]

Originally Posted by Claire64

I actually met a polygamist family last year. My son was in a soccer tournament in Arizona and there was one boy on the other team who's dad had 4 wives. My son went to this family's home for pizza after a game and I got to talking with his mom. There were 4 moms, 13 kids, ranging in age from a couple of months to 18 years old. The dad owned his own business and they lived in a large home, a bit like the one in that video.

Up until I met them, I always pictured polygamist families in their long dresses, living in a compound or something. This family was so normal
and their kids played soccer and video games and that really changed my opinion on polygamy.

Claire, I think your experience is more typical of modern day polygamy, nothing unhealthy about it for adults or children. Their children are allowed to choose for themselves what kind of life style they want for themselves, just like children coming from homes with just two parents.

The stuff we see in the news is fundamentalists who may, or may not, be practicing Polygamy in a way that is harmful to a child's natural development. Clearly if young girls are part of arranged marriages, then it is likely to be a unhealthy environment.

[jtee]

Originally Posted by Trina

I didn't say anything bad about it, although it is illegal.

Trina, you are correct, they can't have more than one legal wife. However, often they don't ever get married legally, if they do it is to just one of their wives, the other wives are not legally recognized even if they were preformed in a religious ceremony. In otherwords, they are refered to as being "wives", but legally it is just one man who lives in the same home as other women, and he calls them his wives.

[Trina]

Originally Posted by jtee

Trina, you are correct, they can't have more than one legal wife. However, often they don't ever get married legally, if they do it is to just one of their wives, the other wives are not legally recognized even if they were preformed in a religious ceremony. In otherwords, they are refered to as being "wives", but legally it is just one man who lives in the same home as other women, and he calls them his wives.

Yes, that's my understanding. I'm sure they do it that way to get around the law.