Teens and Love?

[TGyamiBakura]

I'm an 18 year old teen and I'm not sure if this topic has been already addressed, but I find it immensely interesting to hear parents views on it. Do you think it's possible for teens 13-18 to truly experience love? Not just the usual infatuation, or attraction, no the real "I really love him and would seriously like to marry this person in the future,".

I think that teens really do experience it, but have a hard time trying to acknowledge it fully. Some think they're in love, but really aren't *that* in love. Whether you can realize it or not, it's all about maturity. A mature teen can recognize love from infatuation in my opinion, but what's your opinion on it?

[jtee]

Maturity is a relative thing, so there is likely a handful of teenagers who are mature well beyond their years. The concern I think most parents have is that an adult is attracted to their son/daughter and inappropriate relationship develops.

If my 12 year daughter in 1-2 years were to say she met her soul mate, I think my wife and I would say waiting a couple more years as "Just friends" won't make that much of a difference. A good buddy of mine did meet his (future) wife when they were 15 and dated exclusively, but they did not get married until they were 22. They have been married for 20+ years.

[musicmom]

I think it is very possible but there is a catch. Even though you really do love someone you owe it to yourself to experience other relationships even platonic to make sure you are being true to yourself.
Boys change into men and you will become a woman and along with that comes life. Life in general will change people. I believe if you have a serious relationship that early and jump in feet first then that's all you are ever going to know and you may at one point regret you didn't have "free time".
Alot of young people believe that life with one person is a fairytale and you fall in love and get a house and have babies and it's easy going. Life throws you curve balls and you need to make sure you have a partner that will bend and move with life. Some guys (not all) find it too hard once real life kicks in and they decide they do not want to play house anymore and they are out of there leaving you.
I fell in love when I was 17 and I still love the guy. We are really great friends now so I'm also glad I didn't put the two of us in a relationship.
I think there are a few people here who have only been with one person and are happily married so they would know what it's like to be with one and only one person.
I do think you could have real love for someone at your age.

[meow_173]

I think its possible, but at 13 i really dont think kids know what love is.

[Trina]

Of course it's possible. I know of some married couples who were high school sweethearts, but that doesn't happen often. I met my first love at 18. I was mature for my age, away at college and working. I thought he was the ONE. We talked of marriage, kids, etc.. In fact, he wanted to get engaged, but we decided to wait until graduation. We went steady all through college and everything was peachy. Fast forward to senior year... We seemed to have grown apart. I saw things in him I had never noticed before. Things I didn't like. Things that only became obvious with maturity. At that point I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with him and I realized I was naive at 18 to think he was the ONE.

[FooserX]

I definitely don't think teenagers are capable of true love or even know what it is.

Just because you're infatuated, and love them on some level, doesn't equal true love.

True love takes years to develop, and like music said...people grow up and change into adults. Committing yourself so early is a monter mistake because you don't even know that person. Sure, you know them now, but they will grow into someone completely different in their 20's as they experience life.

There are a lot of levels of love. Crush love. Friend love. Everlasting love. etc...so when a teenager says "I love so and so" I believe it.

But it's not on the same level of love that...let's say...a couple who has been married 20 years, and has a family together.

[Claire64]

I do think that some teens can truly be in love, but the majority of teens don't understand what love is, or aren't ready to be in love.

I honestly fell in love when I was 18. I had a handful of boyfriends in high school, but I knew that I wasn't going to marry and have kids with any of them. I definitely wasn't mature enough to really be in love until I moved out of my parents house and started living as an adult.

My first year of university, I met Adam. He was a lot older and had already been in love once. I knew within a couple of months that I was in love and now we've been married for 18 years.

[etceterae]

As a fifteen-year-old, I have to say maybe, but unlikely in this day in age. I mean, centuries ago, people "truly fell in love" at my age, and got married seriously young. I think that since the marrying age has been considerably bumped up since then, people's perception of when people start falling in love has also followed the marrying trend.

I think it's entirely possible, but ridiculously unlikely. Mostly, we mistake hormones for "twu wuv".

[Cthru]

Short and sweet - it's possible, but I doubt it. Even if it's genuine love right now, everyone is right.. they'll mature and likely grow in different directions.

[Kaytee]

well this is how I see it. Does a teen fall in love? yes. I know for a fact I wa sin love with my boyfriend when I was 17 years old. We dated for almost 3 years before breaking up. I loved him with my whole heart, I wanted to marry him and have children with him some day. BUT then I got older. I matured (not a bad thing lol) I wnet to college (he was a high school drop out), I moved away to another state (we tried to stay together even) but at that point in our lives ( I was 20) we were so far away mentally. Physically it did not matter, I still loved him. Even to this day (9 years later) a part of me will forever love him. We were just so different then we were when we were 17 that love itself did not matter.
I truly believe you can still love someone and not be in-love with them. It is so hard to keep that going in a relationship, even as an adult. I just don't fell most teenagers have that in them. You are selfish at a young age even when you don't think you are.