Father Daughter, Mother Son - bathing together

[hawtmama]

How funny, I never noticed this thread before, but I was just having this same discussion with a friend last night...

My son just turned 1 and I hop in the bathtub with him at least 3 nights a week. He has a great time splashing in the water with me, playing with toys, and it relaxes him before bed.

I don't plan to stop until he is old enough to start asking serious questions...

[Geoff L]

Lots of interesting responses.

I just wonder what the "serious" questions are that would prevent parents bathing with their kids.

I go by the principal that I was brought up with regarding my being adopted. Many people asked if I freaked out when I found out, I reply that I don't remember being told as I was told at such an early age and so it just seemed normal. I took this approach and answered all of the serious questions before they even asked them.

Right now my daughter is almost eight and she still likes to shower with me and her brother of 4, we usually get the whole batheroom wet and have a load of fun and I don't want to kick her out. I suppose there will be a day in the not too distant future when she decides she wants to shower on her own and for now I have decided to leave that up to her.

Thanks for everyones thoughts.

[hawtmama]

It's not wrong to ask serious questions, and I hope I didn't come across that way. When my son gets old enough to ask about my privates (or his own/whatever), I will explain to him as much as he needs to know at that age.

I don't know that there isn't an exact "cut-off" age, but I do believe that 8 is too old for a daughter to shower with her father. If it works for your family, that's great, but once my son is old enough to remember things like that, I'm going to stop. I certainly am glad that I don't have any memories of my naked father...

[dadofsix]

I can't recall if I ever bathed with my daughter (she's 16) but I think I would not have an issue with it. I certainly don't think it's unhealthy. If I had a little girl now, I'd would take a bath with her. I still take baths/showers with my 3 year old boy and my 5 year old boys. My 7 year old son has even asked to take a shower with me and I don't tell him no. It's really not big a issue at the moment.

[Roan]

I think I would start looking at the parent's funny if a child in school (age 5/6) was talking about bathing with their parents in the tub.

However, I think it's perfectly fine for a parent to be in the bathroom with the child at that age since they often still need supervision, just not naked in the tub with them.

April

[Father Blogger]

I think it also depend on the culture. I heard the Japanese do not have problem on this.

But I do not remember any instance I bathe with my daughter. Even my wife do not bathe with our son.

[TAR]

I don't see a problem with a mother or father bathing with a baby (or young ones like up to age 1 1/2 maybe 2yrs) I do not take baths or showers with my children anymore, my girls do see me get dressed but if I had a son I think that would have probably stopped by the time he was 1 1/2 (depending on the child - some are just more advanced) My girls are very advanced, they have asked questions, even my 2 year old *about mommy things* I give an answer approprite for there age. My husband does not take baths with our girls, he will wash them while there in the tub (expecially now since I am 37 weeks pregnant and it's hard for me to wash there hair in the tub) but they know they have to leave the room for daddy to get dressed or shower or anything like that. I think it would be strange for him to have to expain questions asked *about daddy things* to our girls at this age. (ha, at any age) They have see me change there boy cousins and know boys are different, and did ask about it - but explaining about baby boys is different then explaining about a grown man.

[mom2many]

My husband has never showered with our kids but when they were little on occasion they would take a bath and color on the walls, washable crayons work great for this, not the soap ones. Anyways, I don't think I have an age where my kids can't shower with me it just naturally doesn't happen any more. My 4 year old still like to, but my 7 year old son wouldn't think of it, of course you have to drag him to the shower these days and the baby still likes to.

I must say that my teens, will walk in the bathroom as I am getting ready to shower and not blink twice as I stand there naked, used to drive me crazy, But not anymore. My husband is also carefull about changing in front of the little ones cause they have a habit (when babies) of thinking his "pickle" is some kind of horn to toot. I always find it , he doesn't.

I guess it's up to the dynamics of the household, I do think that at a certain point parents of the opposite sex should stop showering or bathing with their kids, but mainly cause society can twist even the simplest things and turn around and use them against us.

[Xero]

mom2many, I hardly know you and I am seriously fond of you. You remind me of my mom (the one that adopted me, but to me she is my real mom). She has five other kids younger than me, and four of us are girls. Everybody bathed with her as little kids, and all us girls will demand entrance to the bathroom while she's in there doing ANYTHING. Getting ready to shower, showering, getting out of the shower, wiping her butt, we don't care. We don't think twice about it. It's the best time to have a conversation with her. We have her trapped in one small place where she can't be on the phone lol. And the boys aren't allowed in! HA! I think if me or my sisters still wanted in the shower with mom she probably would give us the funkiest look, but wouldn't deny us. Who cares! She always told it to us like this "It's not like you have anything I haven't seen before." She sometimes gets mad about never getting to go to the bathroom by herself. But she's accepted her fate lol. I must tell you, being raised to be unafraid of your family seeing your privates, or you seeing theirs, makes you more of a confident person, and even can make you closer to your family.

I don't think there should be a problem with it. I have always bathed with Eli pretty often (He's only 10 months though), and I figure I'll let it go on to whatever age. I'll know when a good time to stop is. If I have daughters, the age wont matter to me. I don't care how long Eli showers with his dad though. I don't see why it should matter if you both have the same stuff anyway.

On this note, my boyfriends little brother took showers with their mom until he was about 14 years old. And he only stopped because his step dad said something about it. There was never an actual problem, and he's a completely normal kid. There is so nothing wrong with him, and his mom and him are really close to each other in all the right ways. He still sleeps with her in her bed every chance he gets. I think that's sweet. I would love it if Eli wanted to spend that much time with me still at that age, seriously. But people make such a big deal out of it. What's it matter? They're private parts, everybody's got them.

And yeah, in Japan, family members bathe together up to pretty much any age, gender not being an issue. It's just because they're close, and it doesn't matter. Why can't America be like that?

Probably cause there's all kinds of sickos in America. Ugh.

[AnKsMommy]

For me, it would be whenever the child can notice the difference in what the other has or doesn't have.