How Parents can understand Teenagers

[Father Blogger]

Parenting teenagers is one of the hardest tasks of parents. But some teenagers do not realize this and they think they are not being understood. Although parents were once teenagers, some of them really find it hard to understand the younger generation. This is because most teenagers are aggressive, fast thinkers and sometimes careless. That is why parents should always be there to guide and understand them. But their generation gap seems to be a long bridge for them to travel and meet in the middle. So here are some tips on how parents should start.

Free them

The average age gap between parents and their teenagers is 25 years, and this is long enough in terms of music trends, lifestyle and technology. Youngsters love the latest fashion, gadgets and music that you may not appreciate. You do not have to force yourself to join them if you don’t want to. But let them feel the same excitement you felt when you were at their age. Allow them to be young and enjoy life. Free them by helping them to spread their wings and fly high.

Listen to them

Teenagers also have the right to be heard. You must now lower your voice, and open your ears. Although their voices are still small, they have fresh and bright ideas to share. Listening to their suggestions does not mean yours are now being left out, it only means that they are concern with what is happening around them. You should be proud because your teaching is now getting good results. Let them voice out their critical minds. After all, it is their future that is at stake.

Trust them

Teenagers are sensitive enough to know if they are being trusted or not. It may be quite hard to trust them because they are young. But if you will not trust them now, when will you trust them? We must let go of them slowly and let them be independent. Being overprotective does not mean we love them, it may also mean that we do not trust them. Teenagers are confused where they belong – older children or young adults? The way we trust them will be the answer. Let them fly but be ready to catch them when they fall.

Read them

There are teenagers who are not transparent in their words but in their image. They may be intelligent and creative, but their silence prevents them to shine. They are the ones who love to hide inside the closet. Some teenagers express their curiosity, anger and anxiety through music, tattoos and extreme fashion. With this, parents must be smart enough to read their actions. Just like babies, they need attention too. If you cannot understand teenagers, the society will not understand them either.

Swallow your pride

Before you could do all of the above, you should first swallow your pride. If you want to understand teenagers, visit their world wholeheartedly. Teenagers change their mind easily not because they are crazy but because they are full of dreams. They want to learn about everything through experience to prove that like adults, they have their own space in this world. After all, we were in their shoes once. They are not dangerous though. It is only us adults who puts them in danger.

If teenagers can rock, then we as parents must roll.

Article Source: Happy Family Matters

[tessera]

Hi Father Blogger
I just noticed that you're from the Philippines too! I'm from Manila but live here in the U.S. with my family.
By the way, thanks for the information regarding parenting with teenagers.

[Father Blogger]

That is nice to hear. Hope you could settle things with your daughter soon. I know you can do that as I believe Filpinos are good mothers.

Actually, I also came from Manila but now living in Batangas where I work.

[etceterae]

I agree with the "Swallow Pride" title, but not quite what's put under it. Not that many of us are entirely eager to find a place amongst adults. Additionally, not all of us act strangely because we have dreams. School can be an intensely political place at times, and playing the game hard can be our only token to survival sometimes.

[Xero]

I don't trust teenagers. lol

[Father Blogger]

Originally Posted by Xero

I don't trust teenagers. lol

And they do not trust adults too! lol!

[MidwestMom]

Originally Posted by Father Blogger

And they do not trust adults too! lol!

This is so true. Not until they figure out that we aren't as stupid as they think we are.

[Father Blogger]

Originally Posted by MidwestMom

This is so true. Not until they figure out that we aren't as stupid as they think we are.

I think it is because this is what some adults think about them too.

[MidwestMom]

Originally Posted by Father Blogger

I think it is because this is what some adults think about them too.

You are so right here. I know that my oldest was so frustrated at some of his jobs, because he would make suggestions about things, and the supervisors would basically ignore them. As if he didn't know what he was talking about.

I've always tried to give my boys the respect of listening and validating their thoughts on things. Never putting them down for ideas, or how they feel.

They do feel out of place in this world. Because they aren't adults, but they are no longer children either.

I know that my oldest, now that he's almost 20 feels more like he fits into the adult world. But I remember his frustration when he was younger, about other adults not considering his thoughts or suggestions as valid.

[Lionheart]

Brilliant article!
Totally agree with it.
Only when my parents started to listen to my view points on situations did i respect theirs and see things from their view points.
I'm full of dreams, and my aim is to make a living off numerous websites that i have a passion for and my parents fully back this. I have a backup plan alongside this in case it does not go as planned and i've shared this with my parents and they are doing everything in their power (through contacts and spreading the word) to help me in my first and most desired dream. I daily thank God for my parents as i believe i'm blessed with the (what i perceive to be rare) fair and reasonable parents.

@Xero, why do you not trust teenagers?
Considering you don't have your own (assumed by only noting Eli under children), where does this lack of trust stem from?

@Father Blogger to MidwestMoms reply, it is completely true.
I've noticed a reciprocation between the older (15+) teenagers and parents (doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out). If they think you're stupid, don't listen to your views and treat you generally like you're still 10, then they're going to treat you the same way which will most likely cause another sparring contest between the two parties.