part time job for my daughter

[tessera]

My duagher is a shy girl, she has problem socializing with other people even our relatives. I wanted her to build her self esteem and to have self confidence. So I've been telling her to find a part time job to get some experience, meet other people and to know what's out there for here. She's going to university freshman this month and I've told her to get a job in the university so she can earn her own money and feel great about herself. We also have some financial issues and her dad is very sick. But the main readon I want her to get a job is for her to learn how to stand on her own feet and be independent. She said she's been looking for a job but I did not believe her because she did not have any interviews and herf job applications still in her room. Am I wrong to push her to get a part time job? She said I've been giving her a lot of pressure but she's not doing anything about it. The whole summer is a disaster for both of us. Shes' kind of lazy and doesn't take initiative to do something. I have to tell her to do stuff even though she knows she has to do it. Thanks in advanced for your advise.

[1dayatatime]

I feel like your heart is in the right place. I think self esteem and independence are things you have to start teaching from the time your child is born. I don't know if you feel like you have been doing this or if you think a part time job this late in the game will produce a miracle. If your daughter is 18 yes she most certainly should get a job. College is important but I feel like as a freshman she may not be totally serious about school and it would be the best time to try work and school. My mother always told me I only HAVE to take care of you untill your 18. After that I better make an effort or I would have to do it all by myself. Best of luck to you.

[Dadu2004]

I would be encouraging a job as well...good for you. At her age, it's time to learn some responsibility. If she's never had a job of any sort, she's going to have a SERIOUS shock when she graduates college. Not to mention, how is going to look on an application or on her resume that she has NO work experience of any kind...not even a fast food restaurant.

[Nikita]

A part time job is definitely a good idea. My first job was McD's and I would recommend it for anyone getting a first job. I plan to encourage my kids to apply there when they are ready. Of course, I expect them to start looking for part time jobs around 16.

Your child is older and could be why she isn't working too hard on finding one. Maybe it's time to let her know if she wants new clothes or movies or video games, she will have to buy them with her own money. It might get her to take looking more seriously.

[MidwestMom]

Nikita has a point. I don't know if she likes to shop, but if she does, its a good way to motivate her. Have her apply for entry level positions. Get her foot in the door. Then after she has had the job for a while, help her open a checking account, and learn how to maintain that.

My oldest started working at 15. He opened his first checking at 18. He's learning that it takes a lot to maintain a checking account, and also learning that you can't pay bills without one.

[Father_0f_7]

My wife didnt get a job until she graduated high school and it was so hard to find one. She looked for months and finally just broke down and took a job at a fast food restraunt, turns out....she loved it. She met new friends, she earned a little extra money for herself, even though we were married and had a child, she said she always felt like it wasnt "our" money because she wasnt doing anything for it.

I your daughter is (like you said) just very shy. But I do believe that once she gets through the initial application and interview part, she will be just fine. Just encourage her more, tell her that she should make her own money and help her (if she doesnt already know) understand the money situation (as much as you care to tell her).

There will come a time she will have to move out of your house. I think she understands that but is putting it off as long as possible.

[obie]

If your daughter is 18 you should not be supporting her. Slowly cut the apron strings. If she wants clothing, she needs to pay for it. If she wants money for entertainment, she needs to pay for it. The only thing I would say you should pay for is medical expenses and college tuition. You cant give a child the freedom of an adult (staying out late, cash to buy clothing) when they dont have the responsibilities of an adult. the best ways to teach her responsibility would be to give her chores and charge her a small monthly rent such as $100/month. If she can not live up to that then the best thing would be to kick her out of the house. TOUGH LOVE!!!

[JessicaMadison]

I think you are absolutely right in encouraging your daughter to get a job. She needs to understand that she isn't just going to breeze through life doing nothing and getting lots of things. If she is starting university she needs to be making her own money because she won't always be able to count on you for every little thing she needs. I mean, yes, you are her parent and she will have you no matter what, but she does need to be making a little bit of money for herself. She will have a life one day and she will need to have a stable job to support herself.

I understand though. Shy kids have a tougher time taking the first step into most things. She will gain confidence.

Both of my teenagers have part-time job's. Me and Jace (my husband) wanted them to start looking around the age of 15. We wanted them to gain some independence. McDonald's is a great first job as someone else said. That was my son's first job. He got the job when he was 15 and he is now 18 and still works there. He is actually a manager now!

As for Bailey, she works at a grocery store and she loves it! It gives kids a lot of confidence when they are able to make their own money.

[bssage]

I dont have a college degree (lots of classes no degree yet). My last several jobs my peers were all degree'd to some extent or another. A lot of the people I have trained over the years have a higher level of education than myself.

IMO I have found that people skills are at least as important, if not more important than a higher education. A entry level job goes a long way to making her a more complete person. Its win win for her.