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Old 10-01-2008, 10:29 AM   #1
nikki292boys
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Default 5 year old talking about death

Lately my 5 year old keeps talking about death...saying he is going to die, be killed whenever he gets reprimanded.

Also whenever we say something to him..not as a punishment just a reminder for whatever behavior he is soing..he says Punish Me..your mad just punish me. Spank me, take the gamecube away..just punish me.

The re was not going to be a punishment...
I dont know how to fix this...is he testing limits..testing me? Not sure how to react to him. Any suggestions?
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Old 10-01-2008, 10:35 AM   #2
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Default Re: 5 year old talking about death

I think he's testing you personally. Maybe you should sit him down in a calm situation and have a long talk about his feelings
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Old 10-01-2008, 10:35 AM   #3
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Default Re: 5 year old talking about death

Sounds to me that he's testing his limits. Make sure you continue to stay consistent with him. As far as the death thing, that may be something he's picking up from friends or from TV. I've found that kids that age don't really understand what death is conceptually.
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Old 10-01-2008, 12:28 PM   #4
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Default Re: 5 year old talking about death

My wifes grandmother is really close to death and my son knows it. Not sure how we're going to deal with it when the time comes. All we can do as parents is reassure our children that death is a natural part of life that isn't going to occur to them for a long time. If you're spiritual pray about it and suggest to your child to do the same.

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Old 10-07-2008, 08:52 AM   #5
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Default Re: 5 year old talking about death

I think kids know and understand more than we think/expect them to when it comes to death. My 4 and 3 yo do the same thing to us. My 4 yo has said to me before " just kill me , i just want to die....etc..." Not good! IT makes me very sad that she would come up with these kind of things to say. It ususally comes up when either one of them does not get their way. So, they know what they are saying, but I think they are using it out of context. Now, with that said our situation is probably a little different than most. My husband , their dad, is terminally ill. THe kids do not know that, all they know is that daddy is sick and the docotrs are trying to fix him. But we have had those conversations about what death means. We are not a religious family, however the kids have interpretted death as going to heaven to be with Jesus. This is not something we have instilled in them , this is something they came up with on their own. For example, my 4 yo once came up with this whole scenario where she could wish she was dead so she could go up to heaven and see if Jesus moves. THen she would wish herself back to be with us. They know that if you die we won't see each other anymore. At least that is how we have handled it so far. I think it is normal that they are aware of death, and they just need to be educated about what it actually means. I personally think it is just one of those learning phases that kids go through as they are learning about life. They understand that it is a "bad"thing and therefore use it to test you when they are in trouble etc....My advice is to make it short and sweet when your kids try to use this against you. Something like " i would be very sad and i would miss you alot if you died" or "that is not a very nice thing to say" and leave it at that. But they have a natural curiosity about because as adults it is a very taboo thing and it gets a rise out of us. SO I suggest educating them however you feel comfortable, being there for them to answers any questions, and then kind of let it go. Hope this helps.
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Old 10-08-2008, 09:53 PM   #6
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Default Re: 5 year old talking about death

I don't know, maybe he's actually very scared about death/dying and doesn't know how to approach the subject with you?

My 6 year old will freak herself out thinking about dying. She'll be a crying messing and she's honestly just scared to death about it. It's a hard subject to talk to with them considering that you can't promise them that it's not going to happen to them or you or someone else they love or care about.

I try my best to explain it to her, along with our beliefs on what follows after death. But even then I think there are just some people who are just very sensitive to the issue and need a lot of reassuring.
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Old 11-28-2008, 02:24 PM   #7
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Default Re: 5 year old talking about death

My Four year old daughter is going through something similar, except I'm pretty sure she has a disturbingly better understanding of death than I wish. She just realized that her terminally ill little cousin is going to die and she will never see her again. She quietly went into her room and cried for a bit. When she was done, she came out and had all kinds of questions about death, the theme being that she didn't know little kids could die and that really scared her. She thought that only older people could die and I guess maybe she came face to face with her own mortality... And there's not much you can say to that... You can't promise anything to her.

I remember a vivid memory of being in preschool and realizing that I was a baby once, then one day I would be a dad like my dad. then I thought my dad must have been a boy like me once and his dad too. Then I realized that his dad had died when my dad grew up and that when I became a dad, my parents might die too. I was imediately traumatized and started bawling and ran to find my mom begging her not to die! heh. I was so scared that I remember it like it was yesterday! I think it's a normal thing for kids to figure out, but some definitely have a harder time with it. Truthfully, I'm still not over it. My biggest fear in life is my family dying.
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Old 11-29-2008, 06:24 PM   #8
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Default Re: 5 year old talking about death

Quote:
Originally Posted by nikki292boys View Post
Lately my 5 year old keeps talking about death...saying he is going to die, be killed whenever he gets reprimanded.

Also whenever we say something to him..not as a punishment just a reminder for whatever behavior he is soing..he says Punish Me..your mad just punish me. Spank me, take the gamecube away..just punish me.

The re was not going to be a punishment...
I dont know how to fix this...is he testing limits..testing me? Not sure how to react to him. Any suggestions?
The best things you do is to go to child psychology and ask why it is happening to him. Maybe the kids is mad because of child experiences and must give love and attention
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Old 12-06-2008, 03:40 AM   #9
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Default Re: 5 year old talking about death

my 6 yo son, once told me that our body is a prison for our soul, and we can make it free, by killing our body... it was his own idea... and it was told in a very calm situation. I told him, that our souls must live in our bodies as long as it needs and when the soul is ready to be free soul makes it...
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Old 12-08-2008, 06:20 AM   #10
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Default Re: 5 year old talking about death

Cole talks like that from time to time also. DW freaks out when he does that. I change the subject unless I detect from his tone that its something other than him trying to get attention or just a meladramatic perception of his situation.

He also does that: What are you going to do now take away my toys stuff. I just say "sure and you can have them back when you behave. Anything else you want me to do??" Usually I can wear him out .

I compare it to the scene in Jurrasic Park when the dinasaurs are ramming the electric fence and the guide said "thier just looking for weakness" DS throws himself into the fence quite a lot.

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