Teen mum's

[hez2200]

Hi i'm new here and i'm 17 and i have a 4 month old son. I'm currently at college studying level 3 childcare, which afterwards i can work in a nursery as a nursery nurse. I was just wondering wha youre view's were on teen mum's/parents. As i get a lot of negative views even though i am a very goo mum.

So here's my side

I am 17 with a 4 month old son called aidan. I am still with the father and i have been for 5 years. He is going into teh army in janurary and i am doing college whilst being a mum and house runner at the same time. I love being a mum and i think that all ages of parents may have trouble looking after their children. Not just teens. And it really upsets me that i am pushed into a catogory of bad mums which in reality i'm not
xx

[Xero]

I don't think any of us here have a problem with teenage parents. :/ Just bad teenage parents. Same as bad adult parents. It is common however for people your age who have kids to be irresponsible about it, but that doesn't mean they all are, of course not. That's like saying all adult parents are good parents. Haha, yeah right!! I wish. I know a couple people your age with kids, and their parents raised their babies while they ran around and did whatever they wanted. That doesn't mean ALL teenage parents do that, though. I've seen good teenage parents, of course. Just like I've seen horrible adult parents that are much older than I am, or same age. Everyone is different, and that's why its pointless to make generalizations.

All we care about is if the baby is being cared for and loved, not who's doing the lovin.

[fallon]

what she said...LOL

I don't think teens should make a habit of becoming parents. It's hard work no matter what age you are but much hard for someone who's still so young. I don't think all adults make good parents anymore than I think all teens are bad parent. Unforutantly there are more bad teen parents than good so people tend to have a harsh outlook on all of them.

[IADad]

First of all - what they said ^ ^

Second you have every right to be angry and the sad fact is that I think all of us, no matter how well intentioned or principled we think we are make judgements based on the info we are presented. To be completely frank, when I read your welcome thread, my first reaction was "ouch - 17, I hope this girl knows what she's gotten into..." I know not every teen mom is a bad mom, just as not every older mom or dad are good. You've said a ton in your post here, that leads me to cheer for you. Bottom line is that you are a young woman working hard to provide a good life for your family. But me believing that after only two posts by you and across thousands of miles of world means just as little as the sideways glances you may get at the market. You'll develop a thick skin to this and it will matter less and less as you and your family grow. If you let it bother you too much, then you become the victim. You haven't displayed that victim mentality to us, so don't go there.

You know I worry some about what people think of older dads...I color my hair to keep other parents at my kids's school from thinking I'm his grandfather...short people face their prejudice, large people, even very skinny people, we are all judged to some degree by the others we encounter, it can't be helped. Just remember that the glance you interpret to mean one thing, may not necessarily be that. Keep your resolve, hold your head high and enjoy that baby boy!

[fallon]

haha, I get the craziest looks at my daughters school. We live in a well off community and most of the mothers around here don't have a pierced nose and tounge...LOL

[bssage]

I think you will find when you start attend activities that the good parents are good parents period. Age, hair, and tounge piercings have nothing to do with it. Putting the welfare of your kids and family first is what it is all about.

Take some time and look at the profiles on this forum. Do some math and match ages with the kids age. I think you will see a lot of formerly "teen parents" here.

(giving fallon a crazy look)

If you try and hold a sneeze can you shoot the person next to you??

[Father_0f_7]

I was a teen father, and when I would take Megan to school I go teachers asking questions like...Oh that's so sweet you're bringing your sister to school" or "Her parents couldnt be here". I didnt get a lot of negative comments, just looks and stuff like that.

[Xero]

I totally agree with everybody! Awesome post, IADad!

Yeah I mean honestly, it IS hard to be a parent young. I had my boy when I was just a few months over 20, so I'm close to where you're at. I couldn't imagine myself doing it at 17 though, but hey if it happens it happens and when the time comes you can either grow up and become a good parent, or you can disreguard your responsibility and your baby's needs and continue to be a kid. Plain as that.

Fallon, that's hott!! lmao

Fo6 - I'm a little worried about that, where I am a "young" parent, and on top of that I LOOK younger than I am, so I can only imagine what it will be like to take Eli to school if I fail to look older in the next couple years lol. Everyone always seems to guess that I'm 16. Argh. I don't mind looking young at all, except for when it comes to Eli. I feel like people THINK I'm a teen parent and they give me the same looks they give the 15 and 16 yr old parents when I'm really 22!! Lol wtf. D:

[IADad]

Originally Posted by fallon

haha, I get the craziest looks at my daughters school. We live in a well off community and most of the mothers around here don't have a pierced nose and tounge...LOL

what Xero said!!

maybe they don't have pierced noses or tongues...but you gotta wonder who has anything else pierced....;-)

Think about that the next time you're bored at a PTO mtg....(DS goes to private school, I think I'll take my own advice....")

[fallon]

LOL...I have quite a few peircings (the nose and tounge are just the only ones they can see, haha) and 8 tats. I could care less what they think of me though, onve they decide to actually talk to me they figure out I'm a mom just like them. I was never a teen parent but I can only imagine it's very hard