Just not ready for the potty?

[littlebit1901]

I am tearing my hair out with this one. I have read everything on potty training, but nothing seems to give advice on what is specifically going on here. Jacob is two, turns three in September. Everyone is telling me it's time to potty train him. He tells me after he has pottied in his diaper, he brings me a new one and the wipes, takes his old one off and tries to put a new one on. He knows he's supposed to go in the big potty (he has his own also). When I ask him if he has to go, he says no, or tells me he can't. When we go in there he just sits there and talks or kicks his feet. Basically, he won't sit still long enough to go. Every now and then he will actually go, but I think it's more luck than anything. We will sit there for 10 min and when he doesn't go, I tell him that we'll try again later. Then he throws a big fit saying he has to go potty so we go back in and nothing happens again. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or if he's just not ready even though he understands the concept. Maybe he doesn't understand the feeling of having to go? Please, please, please any advice would be sooo appreciated. Thanks!

[meow_173]

LUke will be 3 at the end of june and we've just started getting the hang of using the potty. Its a good time to introduce the potty to him, but boys are just harder then girls.
Sit him on it, tell him this is where we go pee/poop. But if he's not ready don't push it. But keep the potty out so that he knows its there.
DOn't worry, it will come

[fallon]

my guess is he doesn't quite understand what it feels like when you need to go. I think your problem is pretty common in PTing so don't worry to much. He isn't straining to have a BM or anything right? Don't get to discouraged, he's still young and a lot of boys don't fully potty train until they're around 3 1/2

[littlebit1901]

I think thats what it is, he just doesn't understand the feeling when he has to go and I can't really explain it to him. I tried putting regular underwear on him a couple of times, but he just peed in them and then it was all over my carpet. I was thinking of putting the underwear on him and putting a diaper over them and letting him walk around like that for a while, so he could understand the feel of when he is wet.

[IADad]

my 2 showed lots of interest in potty before he was 2 but it's faded, so they all go through different stuff at different times. My older son, didn't start until after 1/12, but caught on quiickly.

I think you need to make the opporunity available and he'llcatch on when it's right. Try making it part of routine (this is what we're going to do now, rather than "do you need to....") Right now, we make it the first thing he does getting out of bed and it's also something he has to do before he's allowed to go outside and play, outside is his faorite thing, so he'd do anything for that.

Does he undertand about big boy underpants? Maybe the lure of if you go potty in the potty, you can get big boy underpants could motivate him. shop but don't buy them so it becomes an object of his desire....

We're kind of in limbo with him going some of the time, and staying dry on occasion, and we're trying not to make too big of a stressful deal out of it, just opporuntiy and trying to motivate and praise...

[IADad]

Originally Posted by littlebit1901

I think thats what it is, he just doesn't understand the feeling when he has to go and I can't really explain it to him. I tried putting regular underwear on him a couple of times, but he just peed in them and then it was all over my carpet. I was thinking of putting the underwear on him and putting a diaper over them and letting him walk around like that for a while, so he could understand the feel of when he is wet.

I see our posts crossed, we tried the underpants under the pullup and probably will more, we think part of the lack of motiviation is the pullup keeps him too dry and comfortable.

[fallon]

when I PT'd my daughter we stayed home for a couple days and I let her run around in panties. It worked great. I also made a big deal about taking her to store and picking out her own big girl underwear

[MN Mom]

I don''t think he is totally ready yet - and he's not even 3 so don't worry at all. If people are giving you hard time - just tell them to BE QUIET (tell them I said so.) Kids are ready when they are ready and there is no forcing things.

When we potty trained my son, he was ready and we spent the entire weekend at home. He wore his underpants and we had a timer. He had to sit on the potty every 20 min. (hence the timer) We had him drink lots o water (so he had to go). Worked great for him.

My daughter on the other hand - she is a great example of kids will do things on THEIR schedule! (pain in the a__ she can be!! )

Try not to worry - put him diapers and have him go when he wants to!!

[Lynette]

Well, all I can give you is another approach to the topic. Here, in Switzerland, most of the people do not believe in potty training. I do not know one single mother who has potty trained her child. Why? When they are ready, the kids want to go to the potty or the toilet by their own will and they will succed in it in a few weeks and won't need the diaper anymore. Of course, one can start potty train a two year old toddler, forcing him to go potty and stay, teaching him this way that the potty/toilet is something unpleasant and the farer it stays away from it, the better. The training will succeed all the same because with time passing the moment will arrive when the child wants to go potty. I believe, and it is commonly believed here, that whether or not the child has been bored with endless sessions of potty training does not have the slightest influence on when that moment will come.

As children learn a lot of things by copying their parents and older siblings, it is important that they have the opportunity to observe what happens in the bathroom -so don't lock your child out when you go. It will watch, understand and one day immitate what it has seen. Patience

[littlebit1901]

I think I am just going to wait and keep letting him try to go when he wants to instead of trying to force it. I really think he's picking up on my frustration because he doesn't even want to try anymore. Next time someone asks me why I'm not potty training him yet, I'm going to reply "I was waiting for you to come and do it, since it's so easy for you". Maybe they'll leave me alone about it. Thank you to everyone for your advice and reassurances!