A simple guide to Father's day gifts

[jgomez65]

I remember watching an episode of the Cosby Show where Cliff complains about the poor quality of his annual Father's Day gifts. To show his kids how bad the gifts he had received trough the years were, he decides to wear them all at once (from a tie that lights up like a Christmas tree to a sweater that is just horrible.

The reason I am bringing this up is because father’s day is coming up, so I’ve decided to write a very simple guide to father’s day gifts for all those clueless wives who usually give us something we really don’t like, but we accept because we don’t want to break anyone’s heart.

Let me start by saying something: we are very simple people. Contrary to what most women think, men are very easy to please. If you don’t believe me, the next time you go to a hardware or electronic store, look around and see how many man you see with a sad expression on their face. Most likely you will encounter happy men talking and helping each other, explaining to less savvy fellow men how to use a power tool, or the latest feature of that Blue Ray DVD player we are thinking of buying. I mean, you give us a gift card to our favorite electronic or hardware store and we’ll be as happy as child in a toy store.

The other important thing you all must know, is that WE DO NOT WANT ANY CLOTHES for father’s day. No matter how handsome you might think we would look in that dress up shirt, for most men, clothe is just something you wear to avoid getting arrested for indecent exposure. If we need some shirt or pants, we would drive ourselves to the store, pick the first thing we see in the man’s department, put it over our body to see if it fits (we don’t even use the fitting room to try it out) pay for it, and walk out, spending a total of $10 and less than 5 minutes of our time. You see, stores have long discovered this behavioral pattern in men, and that is the reason in most big store chains, the men’s department in the first thing you see when you walk in. On the other side, women must walk all the way to the back of the store, ask for directions, receive a map with obscure clues and then complete a dozen quests before they can find their department. All these is done with the hope that in the process women would browse the entire store and buy as many items as they can possible fit in their shopping carts. Which is what usually happens every time a woman goes shopping for a dress.

Another important thing you must know is that chores, and honey-do list, are not compatible with the celebratory spirit of father’s day. Do you know how many times we have dreamed about spending a whole day in front of the TV watching a game, or playing Xbox without having to hear the dreaded phrase “honey can you please….? Nothing destroys more the joy of celebrating fatherhood like hearing those words. If you want to make us happy on father’s day, simply turn on the TV, give us the remote and take care of the house and the kids for just 8 hours. We’ll do the rest to entertain ourselves and have a good time.

Finally, if you really want to make it a very special father’s day, wear something sexy at night, tell us that you have a “special gift” waiting for us in bed, and I guarantee you that the TV will be off in 2 seconds and we’ll thinking “boy this is the best father’s day ever!

[IADad]

I believe it was Rodney Carrington who summed up the simplicity of men when he said:

"We want a beer

and we want to see somethin nekkid."

[Dadu2004]

Originally Posted by IADad

I believe it was Rodney Carrington who summed up the simplicity of men when he said:

"We want a beer

and we want to see somethin nekkid."

Wrong again IA DAD, it was Jeff Foxworthy. Gosh, you're on a roll.

[Jeremy+3]

Jackson, will get me a playstation game he wants, Melia will buy me thorntons toffee and eat most of herself, Jake will lend me one of his toys, Jade will say she can save her pennies as i'm not her real daddy yet.

[IADad]

Originally Posted by Dadu2004

Wrong again IA DAD, it was Jeff Foxworthy. Gosh, you're on a roll.

I'm kinda hurt by that "again...." you couldn't have just left it at "wrong?"

You're right, but I would have sworn it was Carrington, you know not trying to attribute everything redneck to Foxworthy....

[Dadu2004]

Yup, had to rub it in a bit.

[bssage]

peice on earth and good will towards men. That enough for me. And if that too much to ask. Then just a peice and some goodwill will work.

[fallon]

hubby usually buys himself what he wants and then me and the kids come up with cute ways to celebrate...plus the girl child makes him something cute

[16th ave.]

coco has made something for dh at daycare. & we've already pretty much done what we plan. a funny t-shirt and smart ass card about picking bougars and manners.

[16th ave.]

reported

dang it what's the deal with all this spam???