Motivation

[ellagrindle]

How do you motivate your adult children to keep them moving in a positive direction?

[bssage]

Thats pretty vague. If someone can successfully answer that.... Well I just saying there are a lot of factors in what works, when, and with whom. A specific situation may be a little easier to get a answer.


But with nothing more to go on,,,,, MONEY.

[ellagrindle]

Okay - how about this - thinking back to their younger years . . .

What did you do to help motivate your children? To do chores, to complete homework (or other learning activities), to be independent
Did you use rewards on a regular basis to convince your children to do things? What are the rewards (candy, tv time, parent time, …)?
Did you allow them to struggle through some things in order to gain more confidence? If you did, why? If you did not why?


Thanks!


Louella

[Jordy]

i think we need a bit more information to be able to answer this question.. but our

motivation to complete Chores is money
motivation to complete homework - homework chart (ticks when complete and graded. get to a certain number you choose where to go for dinner)
to be independent- they want this so the more they prove they can do, the more you let them do and that is reward enough when they are young.

yes, i love reward and consequence; do something good you get a reward (money, lollies, choice of restaurant) do something wrong is consequence (time out, miss out on TV etc, consequence should fit the crime lol)

and yes i am a big believer of letting them do things themselves without helping. children are far more capable than you think. if something is difficult and you let them work it out then next time they can do it themselves. if you do it for them ten next time they will still need you to do it for them

[IADad]

I think all of those things. Thinking about what we do now. Our 8 yo has a set of things he needs to do each day and each week in order to earn his allowance. If he doesn't he knows his allowance can be witheld or reduced. We seldom do this because he usually gets most of them done, and does a good job helping out with other things that weren't necessarily expected. So, we review his performance before doling out the allowance, tell him the things we recognize him doing, especially the extra things he does. We deny him things he wants to do, when he doesn't get expected tasks done. In general we try to tie both rewards and penalties to getting things he's committed to doen, to impress upon him that he can't always do everything he wants when he wants (and that that's real life, none of us can) and that he's part of a family and a community that needs his help as much as he needs theirs. Seems like it's been working so far, but he's only 8, but going down the right path I think.

[Cop2be]

I guess I can kinda help...since I am a young adult struggling with motivation.

You know I keep applying places, going for interviews and left with empty call back promises.
I guess just keep the hope there because I feel hopeless and that's not helping me any.

I can't find a job so I can start making money for the things I need. I can't get car insurance to drive the car I still don't have till I have insuruance and I can't reliably get to a job without a car,not possible in my town. I can't get health insurance till I get a job. I can't apply to police academy till I have health insurance. I won't have enough money to pay for health insurance amongst the other things I need to pay for until I have my job working as a cop making my police salary.


Keep them motivated by making sure there is hope.

Because right now I feel hopeless.

[Father_0f_7]

Cop2be - Are YOU calling THEM?

[Cop2be]

Yes.
I called and called and called.
And even went in and spoke to a manager and RE DID the whole interview came in the next day for a follow up interview and then got told we'll call you.
I'll be calling yet AGAIN tomorrow to see whats going and then wait AGAIN for the guy I need to talk to to call me back, YET AGAIN.

This place wants me to make food, sometimes start work at 6am and make 9 an hour.

I'm about to just say screw it and go apply at 7-11 and pick my own damn shift making 10 an hour.

[Cop2be]

They keep giving my file to this old man who works for them....and he keeps losing it.
He lost my old interview FFS and now they are leaving him in charge of my orientation.

They dont want to work around my police academy and I think that's why they won't hire me or keep leaving me hanging.

[Ralph_Robert]

I think we need to listen very deeply to childrens' needs. At their age, we cannot control them. So, it is better to be with them and understand their need and try to give them what they want.

Understand what makes them to do something with awareness.

I think awareness and consciousness is the key.

Thanks
Robert