Recent content by Anna61

Finding a balance between maintaining control and letting go when it came to raising teens. And making sure that both parents are on the same page when it came to parenting. Thinking about it, I think this was the toughest part of parenting. I got so tired of being the enforcer while my husband...

When I see a parent spank a child I don't think: "Oh good, the child will learn his lesson and he probably deserves it". Instead I wish the parent could have found a more effective way to teach a child right from wrong. I know that all kids are different. A teacher has 30 different kids in a...

Great point akmom!!!! When praise becomes the only fuel that drives us we begin to view ourselves successful only if others deem us successful. We stop developing our own inner scale of right and wrong. In my 40s I woke up and realized that I was still seeking approval from others while I was...

Poor you!!!! It is so frustrating to see your parents hold a grown man above water and then complaining to you that he never learns to swim on his own. Please do not get trapped in your parents' web. This is their responsibility and a lot of your brother's behavior continues because they fuel...

Your son's need to get attention from girls seems normal. His need to become independent is normal as well. He has an added tool to use however. He can use the fact that he was adopted and really hurt you. Part of this is a way for him to try to find himself. He might also know that he is being...

The biggest problem is not your son's behavior. People that age (he is not a child but an adult after all) often do what works with little thought to whether or not it is the right thing to do. If it works for them, it is the right thing to do (according to their way of thinking). So it is your...

First make a list of expected behaviors. When you notice that she breaks a rule, don't engage in conversation but say: "I noticed you hit your sister. We do not hit in this house" She will then lose a privilege. Asking her why she did something is not very useful at that moment. It is better to...

Is spanking OK? To some parents it is but it is not the most effective way to teach a child not to hit his sister. After all, to a young child there is no difference between spanking and hitting. It is more effective for a parent to act like a role model and remove a child or remove a favorite...

It must be tough on you since you basically have no power when it comes to the son. The only thing you have power over is involved you want to be and for how long. Not easy. Do what is best for you and your family in the long run. All this is a process that takes time, and one day you will know...

What a nice idea to pay for problem solving. This is what I did with my three kids. I wanted them to feel as though they were an important part of the family so I did not pay them for general chores. I wanted them to learn delayed gratification and money management skills early on so I paid...

First let me tell you that I admire your strength to move out and putting the safety of your kids and your dog ahead of the fact that you love this man. Good for you!!!!!! Clearly, the son has problems. Clearly, your bf needs help dealing with these problems. He does not seem to know how to...

It sounds just like my son!!! He is now 19 and realizes that he can't live off other people's laughter alone. Unless he becomes an actor or a stand up comedian. My concern was that he learned to get around school rules by using his people skills to the point that he was never written up for...

Homework that enhances learning is OK with me. Nightly reading, math, and concept reinforcement is good, but there has to be a limit. My kids used to sit for hours a day with tasks that seemed useless (such as word searches, coloring etc).I dreaded the hw time each afternoon because I just felt...

Do you trust your bf? If so, maybe it would be enough if he just ignored the texts that have nothing to do with their child? Sooner or later she will realize that she is not getting any feedback. I can understand that he does not want to alienate the mother in any way since she might take it out...

I started a blog filled with parenting tips (Iparentlikeidrive.com) and I came across this forum. I am so impressed by the posts. As I read, I cannot help by feeling for all of you out there who work so hard at doing the right thing and who manage to do so much in so little time. I also am so...