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I know it's never easy to hear, but tantrums and aggression are normal in young children. Here's part 1 of a 3-part article that explains why they happen and gives advice for managing and even preventing them. Aggression and Tantrums in Young Children-Part 1. I hope this helps.

Spanking is most definitely not OK, especially in this instance! She's just demonstrating that the biggest, strongest hitter wins. "Might makes right." Maybe you can refer her to my favorite parenting website, TheSandboxKids.com. They recently published a 3-part series on managing and...