4 yeard old anxiety

[josue11]

Hi, we got a new baby last week, and since we arrive home my older daughter(4-year-old) when it's bedtime starts crying and saying she is feeling she wants to throw up. She says that is because the new sister but doesn't know why.
Some explanation :
Before my new daughter born, the older one comes quite often to our bed at night. Sometimes early night, sometimes, in the morning already, sometimes she would sleep all night in her bed.
In the approach of the baby coming we told the older one, that after the new baby comes would be difficult to happen because the bed has no space for so many people, but we always guarantee to her that she could come to the room and call me and I would help her go back to sleep in her bed.
I don't know if we pressure her too much, but for one week she is getting nervous and anxious when it's bedtime...
Even to put her to sleep she wants now that someone is there with her when before, we would read a story for her and leave the room with the door open and she would fall asleep...
I tried some breathing exercises, they are helping I think but she is still fragile.
Anyone had some similar experience?
Thank you

 

[Babybrightest]

Aww this is actually pretty normal. Some kids are better with changes than others so consider this being a huge change for her and of course it’ll take some time for her to adjust. The first thing I’ll do is get her used to a new bedtime routine. before she didn’t have a real routine. by letting her choose when she slept in her own room and when she can sleep in your room you’ve set the expectations that she’s allowed to do those things but now because of the new baby all of that is suddenly over. This is why I stress to parents to stick to a bedtime routine that you know will fit your future lifestyle. If you’re child will be expected to sleep In her room by herself in the future then train her to be used to this as early as 7-9 months old. The way she’s viewing it now is I can no longer sleep with mommy and daddy because the baby is sleeping with mommy and daddy and to her of course that doesn’t seem fair. So for the first few weeks I will exaggerate on why sleeping by herself is such a big deal and reward and praise her when she does sleep in her room throughout the night. I would also be a bit firm with this like if she comes to your room send her back and reassure her that you love her and will spend quality time with her in the morning. You can also give her the option to use a night light in her room and play soft lullabies she might like that.

Start saying things like wow you’re such a big girl now thank you for being a good big sister. start giving her little responsibilities like helping change the babies diaper so she will feel included more and start taking on the role as a big sister.

I would also suggest if the new baby has their on room maybe during her naps you can have your older daughter watch you put her in the room so she can witness that her baby sister is also sleeping on her on. Lastly be patient it’ll take time for everyone to adjust to a new baby but before you know it it’ll be the new norm. Good luck