4 yo daughter not potty trained...

[ron_cook]

My four year old refuses to poop in the potty. She will pee, most of the time, but not poop. We have had problems with constipation and she voluntarily withholds. I have almost gotten it to where she will at least poop in a pullup, but sometimes she goes in her panties a little bit. Is it mean to make her rinse out her own panties?<EMOJI seq="1f615"></EMOJI>

 

[musicmom]

That's the last thing they learn. She needs to get the feel that when her "tummy hurts" she needs to sit on the potty.
No need to make her rinse out her panties, it takes some kids longer to understand what that tummy cramp means.

 

[Trina]

Have you talked with your ped. about this? She could have encopresis. If so, punishing her will not help.

Encopresis - MayoClinic.com

 

[Xero]

I'm not really sure about all your details or anything, but it sounds a little bit like my little brother at that age. He never had a problem peeing on the potty but we still had to wear diapers or pullups on him at 3/4yrs old because he couldn't seem to go poop on the potty. And he was sometimes constipated and would sometimes go just a little bit in his pants, it was kinda strange. Finally he went to the doctor and it turned out he was "impacted" or something, and they gave him oral and rectal suppositories or something (your doctor would have to tell you specifically, but you know what I mean) and some other stuff and after a little while, he was completely potty trained!! It wasn't his fault at all. That might not definitely be her problem, but it couldn't hurt to talk to her doctor about it and maybe mention something like that. Good luck.

 

[Kaytee]

its common for them to not want to go in the potty. All you can do is encourage it. If ou push to hard they will push right back. Think about a reward chart, and for everytime she goes in teh potty she gets a sticker, so many stickers she gets a special treat. Ice cream with mom, a new book that she gets to pick out, a new baby doll. Whatever

 

[TruJ]

My son will be four in two weeks and finally went poop in the toilet. I got this done by bribing him. He collects super heroes and my husband and I decided to give him a new one if he pooped in the toilet. After that first time, we said that we would get him a toy if he stayed dry in underwear for one week. He did!!!! Now, a new superhero is for both his allowance and for being dry (a job well done toy). It seems to work. But it took four months to get there. So lots of patience.

 

[Good Wolf]

The Mrs. gave our daughter a M&amp;M after ever trip to the throne.

My other daughter didn't really have any problems with day time training, but still uses a diaper at night.

 

[budnkota]

I don't really know if I think that's mean - it's all about how you handle it. If it's a form of punishment for an accident, that may be counterproductive, but if it's just a matter of fact - "there was a little accident, you and mommy need to clean it up together" approach, I think that can be OK. And maybe even a motivator to have fewer. Because even if it's not done in a punishing way, she's still not going to like it..
As with most anything else, I think the difference is going to lie in your tone and approach

 

[budnkota]

I was just reading a book last night that COMPLETELY supports what you are asking. It's by a child psych and teacher who runs a mother and toddler program..

"We support toilet mastery as opposed to toilet training. This stresses the child's active participationn in all aspects: learning to guage his own bodily signals, as opposed to mother gauging them for him; standing up and helping with clean-up when soiled, as opposed to being cleaned and changed lying down; dressing and undressing himself with the help of suitable clothes; FLUSHING AND TAKING PART IN DISPOSING OF DIAPERS OR RINSING OUT OF UNDERWEAR."
p 23
Toddlers and their Mothers
Erna Furman

 

[smmmom]

I have the same problem with my daughter. I have just started having her clean out her panties in the bath tub. She is a very "girly" girl and I thought this would help, but instead all it did was give her one more bath a day, which she loves. I don't know what to tell you, but good luck. I am trying a sticker chart where if she gets four stickers she will get a toy at the store. She picked out a school bus toy and now everytime she poops in her panties she says, "no school bus toy." So good luck!!

 

[Joy]

My sister's friend's daughter (wow that was long) has a problem with this too and she is older than 4. She pees on the pot but not poop, I would talk to the dr about it, there maybe something wrong or she just may need more time. I would encourage her to sit on the potty and read a book or give her something to do until she goes. Good Luck!