ADHD, need something new...

[bigearl67]

&lt;r&gt;&lt;FONT font="Times New Roman"&gt;&lt;s&gt;&lt;/s&gt;My ADHD son, ten years old, is having issues in school again. He takes Fokalin in the mourning and afternoon and has been responding to it well. A lot of his former meds gave him severe heart palpitations and other nasty effects so we are happy with the Fokalin. Not behavior issues this time but an unusual lack of interest and focus. His typical excuse is he doesn’t have time to do all his work (both at home and school) and typically when this type of behavior occurs we take away “stuff” like computer privileges (current) and soon X-Box. He is failing fifth grade already and really falling behind. He is getting a lot of support from his teacher and principal however I no longer have insurance that covers his counseling so he has been without for two years. I’m not looking for an immediate punishment that will correct his behavior but a paradigm shift towards wanting to do well in school. I’m sure a lot of you folks have been down this path before and would love to hear suggestions on how best to make this happen. Thanks for reading, Earl.&lt;e&gt;</SIZE>&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/SIZE&gt;&lt;e&gt;[/FONT]&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/r&gt;

 

[bssage]

Hmm. Yes been down a similar path.

I understand the want to "snap" things back in shape. But I think you will need to elaborate on a couple of things first. At ten and in fifth grade. At least my kids do not get much homework. If my boy is not behind then its generally under a half hour of work at night. Are his test score low? Is he behind in his work? Are there social issues at school or at home that could be tugging him in the wrong direction. If you school year is like ours in Iowa. It just started at the end of last month. It seems odd that he is flunking out of the fifth grade with just a few weeks under his belt.

What was the cause of counseling at age 8 and 9? Just the ADHD? There is a big list of things that could be the issue. It wasnt discovered that I needed glasses until poor grades in the 9th grade.

This could be perceived punishment while not actually being punishment. And I am shooting from the hip without more background. I would probably ask to Audit a couple of the classes he is having the most trouble with. To maybe observe where the disconnect is.

I would recommend the first course of action is to become familiar with the "Active Listening" techniques. I think this is the most likely to "bear fruit". I would guess he knows what the problem is. He is probably either having trouble articulating the issue or avoiding discussing it out of shame or fear or embarrassment.

Another thing I do is take full advantage of the school computer interface. I know this week if he has done bad on a test. Or not turned in an assignment. This is big: to keep issues small and easy to fix.

I also correspond using Email with the teachers. This helps me track and refer back to issues as well as keeping his school from being a different world from home. And provides a paper trail if there are issues with staff.

If you have been having this issue for three years or more I might guess there is a learning disability involved.

hope some of this helps
Bryan

 

[bigearl67]

&lt;r&gt;&lt;SIZE size="3"&gt;&lt;s&gt;<SIZE size="125">&lt;/s&gt;&lt;FONT font="Times New Roman"&gt;&lt;s&gt;&lt;/s&gt;Bryan,&lt;e&gt;&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;e&gt;</SIZE>&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/SIZE&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;SIZE size="3"&gt;&lt;s&gt;<SIZE size="125">&lt;/s&gt;&lt;FONT font="Times New Roman"&gt;&lt;s&gt;&lt;/s&gt;Thanks for responding to my post. My son went thru counseling for two years to help control anger due to issues his mother put him thru. Mom is diagnosed Histrionic and basicaly used him thru her Munchausen syndrom by proxy. He has stabilized for about three years now and is doing well on this issue. Phyisicaly and emotionaly is at his best ever and doing well. He is definatly not shy! He has a mouth that often goes nonstop and he remembers darn near everything. Often he will ask me a question about something, take my answer then expand on it at a tangent quite off from the origional intent. &lt;e&gt;&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;e&gt;</SIZE>&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/SIZE&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;SIZE size="3"&gt;&lt;s&gt;<SIZE size="125">&lt;/s&gt;&lt;FONT font="Times New Roman"&gt;&lt;s&gt;&lt;/s&gt;One of the major issues we face is me and my wife are on different pages when it comes to parenting. I see this as a lot of ongoing conflict however he seams to have such a strong grasp of the situation that he often uses it too his advantage. &lt;e&gt;&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;e&gt;</SIZE>&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/SIZE&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;SIZE size="3"&gt;&lt;s&gt;<SIZE size="125">&lt;/s&gt;&lt;FONT font="Times New Roman"&gt;&lt;s&gt;&lt;/s&gt; His midterm came out last Tuesday along with a lot of his class work. He is flunking on three subjects he normaly does well and looking over his papers he is simply either not doing them or just guessing when he knows the answer. As an example he missed nine of twelve questions matching States with their capitals on his test in class. I asked him these questions while we were driving down the road and he knew all with only slight coaching. Typicaly he tells me and his teacher that he’s lacking time to do the work. It’s more inclanation. I have been getting e-mails from his teachers for the past four years, sometims daily. He had a great principal untill this year who also had an ADHD child and now has another principal who ought to be very good as well. He is getting a lot of support from the school system from people who truly care. We are truly blessed in this instance. &lt;e&gt;&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;e&gt;</SIZE>&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/SIZE&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;SIZE size="3"&gt;&lt;s&gt;<SIZE size="125">&lt;/s&gt;&lt;FONT font="Times New Roman"&gt;&lt;s&gt;&lt;/s&gt;A class audit sounds good, however he is basicaly displaying the same issues at home. Given any chore the first words out of his mouth are excusses why he can’t do it and he really shys away from any responsibility. Again, Thanks for the response. Earl. &lt;e&gt;&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;e&gt;</SIZE>&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/SIZE&gt;&lt;/r&gt;

 

[bssage]

I am kinda going off memory with this so there may be someone jump in and correct me.

A piece of the active listening puzzle is also to teach them the discipline. Something like what you have done here:

Often he will ask me a question about something, take my answer then expand on it at a tangent quite off from the origional intent.

It may surprise you that this is not only common with kids but with people in general. I have used it in the past with adult employees of mine in a work setting. I would have two employees in conflict or an issue of my own with an employee and ask them to repeat what they heard. Often it would be completely different from what was said.

This disconnect may be at the root of your boys issues. Just a theory. I would play a game. A what did I say game: and what did I mean game. And let him play it back with you. I think this may help on a several levels. First learning listening skills and second to take the boring out of listening. And last but not least: It will force you to formalize your listening skills.

IMHO I dont believe there is a quick fix. I think because of the background you mentioned some type of professional intervention is probably necessary.

Your school system should have the resources to help your boy identify and overcome these deficits. Dont be afraid of offending the school officials. Your income should not limit your boys ability to be educated publicly. I will do a little research on Indiana laws.

 

[bssage]

Check this link: specifically page 7. http://www.doe.in.gov/sites/default/files/individualized-learning/faq-special-education-6122012.pdf[/URL] There are also some links near the bottom of the form. I would advise that you move both quickly and assertively. Write down what the school or its representatives tell you with dates names ect. Keep a paper trail!

Special education needs does not mean forever. He very well may just need some help to get over the hump. But your school is on the hook to provide your boy an education. Read: understand: and throw this word around when talking with the school "FAPE" This single word has the power to move mountains. It tells the school that if they cannot properly educate your child you can take him to someone who can and they will be obligated to pay the tab. And it tells the school that you know your rights.

If you do decide to go this route. Get an advocate as soon as possible. Its can be a bureaucratic nightmare. A good advocate can be worth their weight in gold.

 

[tadamsmar]

My daughter got some testing to identify her strengths and weaknesses related to academics and some skills training, including some study skills training. She was 15 at the time.

This really helped turn her academic performance around and it had long term effects.

If you wanted to do this, maybe the counselor you used previously could give you a referral.