My fiance and I are having our first child in a few months and I feel that I'm not doing everything I can to help her out. I'm very excited about our baby but I just don't know how to show my excitement. She thinks I'm not that thrilled about it but I really truly am. I can't stop thinking about it. I want to do everything I can to let her know that I am here for her and our baby girl and that I love them both with all of my heart. Our sex life has also went down hill because my sex drive isn't as high as it was before the pregnancy. I don't think the whole pregnancy thing turns me off to sex but I don't know. I am definitely attracted to her and I do enjoy sex with her. But any suggestions at all from anyone would be great! Thank you!
advice needed as the father...
- Thread starter lanedog33
- Start date
My husband always gets a bit iffy about sex once I hit the third trimester too. Truth is, it is just awkward, and he gets nothing out of it and I just feel like a whale. Has she said that she is upset with the lack of sex? Are there other things you can do to satisfy her if she still has a relatively high sex drive?
As for showing your excitement, you have said some really sweet things here, how you can't stop thinking about it and how you love them both with all your heart. Would you consider putting these type of things into a note for her? Sometimes having something in writing makes it more "real" that if someone says it.
As for showing your excitement, you have said some really sweet things here, how you can't stop thinking about it and how you love them both with all your heart. Would you consider putting these type of things into a note for her? Sometimes having something in writing makes it more "real" that if someone says it.
Well she has always had a much higher sex drive than me. So really she hasn't been completely satisfied. She hasn't actually said that it upsets her but she has mentioned that maybe I'm getting it from somewhere else, which I would never ever even think about doing.
I haven't tried writing it down but I think I will try that right now and hopefully she will understand how truly excited I am to start a family with her.
I haven't tried writing it down but I think I will try that right now and hopefully she will understand how truly excited I am to start a family with her.
I think society in general teaches girls that. I really believe that we are taught that men want it all the time, therefore, if they don't want it, there must be something shady going on.lanedog33 said:
(Also on friday there was this weird sex camp episode of The Doctors on and at the end they had this "tips if he is cheating" nonsense segment and some of the tips there were just offensive and paranoid, but as women, we are taught that if our partner isn't in the mood, he must be having sex with someone else)
Sex drive is typically higher in pregnancy due to increased blood flow in the pelvic region, if she is feeling upset and wanting sex and you don't the only option I can think of is letting her know that no you are not in the mood, however you can acknowledge that she is and do something else for her to satisfy that for her.
I was/am in kinda the same boat as you. I dont really know what the deal is. I had kinda chalked it up to my wife being 7 yrs youngerOr that I got around quite a bit where she had been with a single guy almost all the time.I have just not had the pressing urgency I did when I was young. Maybe low T. Who knows.
One thing I do know I had always been easily distracted suffice it to say that pregnancy and being sole providers to a family are huge distractions for me. I dont think it would have changed much of our current issues for other reasons. But it for sure did not help. So my advice is talk to your doc. It cant hurt and may just help. Its something I should have done.
As far as love and excitement for your new baby. We sound similar on this front also. My emotions are generally muted and I find myself explaining them since they are not outwardly obvious. I have found that over the years I have proved myself time and time again. To the point that no one would ever question my love or commitment to the kids. The real proof is in your actions.
What she probably needs now more than anything else is support and reassurance. Lighten her load as much as possible and try to nudge the adventure into good places as much as you can. Exploit the fun or funny times. Be her wing man whenever she needs one.
good luck brother
Bryan
One thing I do know I had always been easily distracted suffice it to say that pregnancy and being sole providers to a family are huge distractions for me. I dont think it would have changed much of our current issues for other reasons. But it for sure did not help. So my advice is talk to your doc. It cant hurt and may just help. Its something I should have done.
As far as love and excitement for your new baby. We sound similar on this front also. My emotions are generally muted and I find myself explaining them since they are not outwardly obvious. I have found that over the years I have proved myself time and time again. To the point that no one would ever question my love or commitment to the kids. The real proof is in your actions.
What she probably needs now more than anything else is support and reassurance. Lighten her load as much as possible and try to nudge the adventure into good places as much as you can. Exploit the fun or funny times. Be her wing man whenever she needs one.
good luck brother
Bryan