We are married, parents of 2 boys,
23 and 20.
When the 23 yr old was 19, he was arrested with pot in his car. We paid bail, impoundment fees, and attrny. (Kid in backseat had backpack between his feet with bong and a lot of weed, and his own name written inside of backpack in black perm marker - arresting officer arrested my son, gave kid in back seat a ride home - his son played football on team with the kid who was still in highschool and he was doing the coach and kid a favor).
Needless to say, after good money spent out of my pocket - case was dismissed.
He's been doing good since.
My 20 yr old .... we let his girlfriend move in because of a story she was being mistreated by her mom, step dad and uncle....otherwise she was homeless.
Then we learned they were iintk pot...
Then we learn they have been arrested.
My son, class C misdemeanor - pot, and class A misdemeanor - they found brass knickles in his car.
The girlfriend - Felony - a straw was found in her purse - inside her wallet - with cocaine residue.
We pay bail, we pay impoundment, we pay attrny. For BOTH.
We then learn its not cocaine, the cops got it wrong - its herion.
The attrny cost a fortune - but got grand jury to kick hers out, dismissed.
My son's pot - kicked out
My son's brass knuckles - 9 mths probation.
We have kicked them out of thr house multiple times...
They stole all my jewelry and sold it - promise ring, wedding set, items that can not ever be replaced.
Computers, window AC unit, car jack, car things you put under car when working on it... tools .... any and everything.
Multiple laptops, electronics... my iTouch, you name it... they sold it.
There is a scene one weekend, where screaming ensues and they are thrown out. The girlfriend makes claim I tried to choke her, she took bottle of soda and pours it down the back of my 55" tv in my bedroom, steals $30 out of my purse, and pours melted orange candle wax all over my bedroom carpet.
She does all of this while I am passed out cold on the front lawn - I had a complete melt down in thd sense I collapsed into a coma. The doctors said I simply couldnt take anymore.
I was in the coma 9 hours.
I was blind when I woke up for another 7 hours.
I am a pretty tough b!tch, but I also have weaknesses.
He managed to cash a $25 check of ours, but the bank stopped him on the second one.
We put them BOTH in two different rehabs.
We attended both of their rehabs for evening meetings etc... weekend visits.. money for laundry... we were all either of them had. (We found therehab for her, hef own mother refused to give hers ride and drop her off)
Things got better.
Then worse.
We kicked them out again...
Put him in rehab again....
This stay in rehab another patient shared drugs they got snuck in by a friend...
(Its Christmas, probation is over Jan 1st)
While in rehab he contacts probate officer who tells him he's ok, come see her when he gets out...
He does and he's arrested.
We pay bail.
We pay another $2500 for another attrny.
We pay balance of probation fees.
Full case dismiss. Its over.
He is cited for theft at Walmart - $300 fine. And misunderstands cop - fails to understand he has to show up to court still... so a warrant is issued for his arrest.
During all this he receives 3 tickets.
Speeding, Failure to Register Vehicle, Driving Un-registerd Vehicle.
Speeding - he can take defensive driving (10 miles over limit)
The car was registered, my husband did it himself - sticker and paper on kitchen counter... so they will be dismissed with $20 fine.
But he sits on all of it.... warrant issued for failure to appear for shop lifting and the other tickets are just stewing...and will generate worse outcomes as he will continue to ignore them....
At one point my husband puts them in one of those extended stay hotels for a week. We buy limited groceries. (Gatorade, milk, mac n cheese, bread, peanut butter, cereal, laundry soap, bath soap, shampoo and deoderant)
We sent them an article i found online about how to detox yourself... and make it stick....they said they wanted to do it, would we buy the supplies?
We dropped $92 at walgreens...
[In rehab they constantly said "its not IF you relapse but WHEN you relapse, we will always welcome you back"
To detox them they give them a synthetic drug of the drug.... all insurance approved and paid for.... insurance benefit permits 30 day treatment... but kept saying he only needed 15 days and would send him home for out patient.... telling us local AA groups will generally only help with better drug dealer contacts...]
We buy the items at walgreens for them like tagament for tummy cramps, imodium for dirreaha, other over the counter items to help with pain of detox.
The girlfriend contacts her aunt in another state via Facebook and she sends her $50. I too am in touch with this aunt and have kept her well informed thru the 2 yrs.... and told her - give her NO money. Well, she does a f we watch them go buy drugs.
(We pay for their cell phones and can track them)
Memorial Weekend
He and his girlfriend walk past us, he is cocky and disrespectful, we smell pot... things escalate and they are thrown out again.
I cant take any more.
Im sick of being called a b!tch, c^nt, wh%re, etc... my husband just as much...
We spoiled this child.
We opened our hearts and home to his manipulative girlfriend, and saved her arse more times than anyone else ever would have.
The morning after kicking them out Memorial Day, I paid all fines. All warrants.
I then sent him a message telling him that I needed closure. That the cycle can not continue. That I didnt get to transition him into college, or his own apartment, or into his next chapter of life like normal parents get to do... but had to kick him out onto the street - again.
I needed closure.
I paid everything to give him a clean slate for the final time. Everything this moment forward is 10000% on him.
They live in his car.
(2nd one we have bought him - cash car - so its not much, but we dont trust him with anything else)
They park on the side of Walmart - she works in same shopping center at a fast food place.
We pay insurance and his cell phone.
She has sold her cell phone (again)
and we stopped replacing them - we have replaced broken, lost and lster learned they were selling them!
He needs his phone as he deals pot.
Now all I can do is sit and wait.
And worry.
But mainly, wait.
Wait for a call he's in jail.
Wait for a call he's in the hospital.
Wait for a call he's in the morgue.
We have been blackmailed by dealers he owed - and paid them...
We have paid her car note, and deductible when she wrecked her car...
We are out over 20 grand and no longer have any savings.
We are emotionally, mentally and physically broken.
3 years of this and we arent sure about anything anymore. We live in a haze.
I just pray multiple times a day, every day.
Please God, take him before he hurts innocent people driving under the influence, or he's put in jail.
I just needed to purge a little.
Thank you for giving me this space to do so.
23 and 20.
When the 23 yr old was 19, he was arrested with pot in his car. We paid bail, impoundment fees, and attrny. (Kid in backseat had backpack between his feet with bong and a lot of weed, and his own name written inside of backpack in black perm marker - arresting officer arrested my son, gave kid in back seat a ride home - his son played football on team with the kid who was still in highschool and he was doing the coach and kid a favor).
Needless to say, after good money spent out of my pocket - case was dismissed.
He's been doing good since.
My 20 yr old .... we let his girlfriend move in because of a story she was being mistreated by her mom, step dad and uncle....otherwise she was homeless.
Then we learned they were iintk pot...
Then we learn they have been arrested.
My son, class C misdemeanor - pot, and class A misdemeanor - they found brass knickles in his car.
The girlfriend - Felony - a straw was found in her purse - inside her wallet - with cocaine residue.
We pay bail, we pay impoundment, we pay attrny. For BOTH.
We then learn its not cocaine, the cops got it wrong - its herion.
The attrny cost a fortune - but got grand jury to kick hers out, dismissed.
My son's pot - kicked out
My son's brass knuckles - 9 mths probation.
We have kicked them out of thr house multiple times...
They stole all my jewelry and sold it - promise ring, wedding set, items that can not ever be replaced.
Computers, window AC unit, car jack, car things you put under car when working on it... tools .... any and everything.
Multiple laptops, electronics... my iTouch, you name it... they sold it.
There is a scene one weekend, where screaming ensues and they are thrown out. The girlfriend makes claim I tried to choke her, she took bottle of soda and pours it down the back of my 55" tv in my bedroom, steals $30 out of my purse, and pours melted orange candle wax all over my bedroom carpet.
She does all of this while I am passed out cold on the front lawn - I had a complete melt down in thd sense I collapsed into a coma. The doctors said I simply couldnt take anymore.
I was in the coma 9 hours.
I was blind when I woke up for another 7 hours.
I am a pretty tough b!tch, but I also have weaknesses.
He managed to cash a $25 check of ours, but the bank stopped him on the second one.
We put them BOTH in two different rehabs.
We attended both of their rehabs for evening meetings etc... weekend visits.. money for laundry... we were all either of them had. (We found therehab for her, hef own mother refused to give hers ride and drop her off)
Things got better.
Then worse.
We kicked them out again...
Put him in rehab again....
This stay in rehab another patient shared drugs they got snuck in by a friend...
(Its Christmas, probation is over Jan 1st)
While in rehab he contacts probate officer who tells him he's ok, come see her when he gets out...
He does and he's arrested.
We pay bail.
We pay another $2500 for another attrny.
We pay balance of probation fees.
Full case dismiss. Its over.
He is cited for theft at Walmart - $300 fine. And misunderstands cop - fails to understand he has to show up to court still... so a warrant is issued for his arrest.
During all this he receives 3 tickets.
Speeding, Failure to Register Vehicle, Driving Un-registerd Vehicle.
Speeding - he can take defensive driving (10 miles over limit)
The car was registered, my husband did it himself - sticker and paper on kitchen counter... so they will be dismissed with $20 fine.
But he sits on all of it.... warrant issued for failure to appear for shop lifting and the other tickets are just stewing...and will generate worse outcomes as he will continue to ignore them....
At one point my husband puts them in one of those extended stay hotels for a week. We buy limited groceries. (Gatorade, milk, mac n cheese, bread, peanut butter, cereal, laundry soap, bath soap, shampoo and deoderant)
We sent them an article i found online about how to detox yourself... and make it stick....they said they wanted to do it, would we buy the supplies?
We dropped $92 at walgreens...
[In rehab they constantly said "its not IF you relapse but WHEN you relapse, we will always welcome you back"
To detox them they give them a synthetic drug of the drug.... all insurance approved and paid for.... insurance benefit permits 30 day treatment... but kept saying he only needed 15 days and would send him home for out patient.... telling us local AA groups will generally only help with better drug dealer contacts...]
We buy the items at walgreens for them like tagament for tummy cramps, imodium for dirreaha, other over the counter items to help with pain of detox.
The girlfriend contacts her aunt in another state via Facebook and she sends her $50. I too am in touch with this aunt and have kept her well informed thru the 2 yrs.... and told her - give her NO money. Well, she does a f we watch them go buy drugs.
(We pay for their cell phones and can track them)
Memorial Weekend
He and his girlfriend walk past us, he is cocky and disrespectful, we smell pot... things escalate and they are thrown out again.
I cant take any more.
Im sick of being called a b!tch, c^nt, wh%re, etc... my husband just as much...
We spoiled this child.
We opened our hearts and home to his manipulative girlfriend, and saved her arse more times than anyone else ever would have.
The morning after kicking them out Memorial Day, I paid all fines. All warrants.
I then sent him a message telling him that I needed closure. That the cycle can not continue. That I didnt get to transition him into college, or his own apartment, or into his next chapter of life like normal parents get to do... but had to kick him out onto the street - again.
I needed closure.
I paid everything to give him a clean slate for the final time. Everything this moment forward is 10000% on him.
They live in his car.
(2nd one we have bought him - cash car - so its not much, but we dont trust him with anything else)
They park on the side of Walmart - she works in same shopping center at a fast food place.
We pay insurance and his cell phone.
She has sold her cell phone (again)
and we stopped replacing them - we have replaced broken, lost and lster learned they were selling them!
He needs his phone as he deals pot.
Now all I can do is sit and wait.
And worry.
But mainly, wait.
Wait for a call he's in jail.
Wait for a call he's in the hospital.
Wait for a call he's in the morgue.
We have been blackmailed by dealers he owed - and paid them...
We have paid her car note, and deductible when she wrecked her car...
We are out over 20 grand and no longer have any savings.
We are emotionally, mentally and physically broken.
3 years of this and we arent sure about anything anymore. We live in a haze.
I just pray multiple times a day, every day.
Please God, take him before he hurts innocent people driving under the influence, or he's put in jail.
I just needed to purge a little.
Thank you for giving me this space to do so.
855-382-5433.....