This is going to be long but please bear with me! some back ground.... hubby had a daughter that was 3 when we married. At first he was able to have visitation but only when his exwife let him while he was home on leave. Exwife and child lived in GA while DH was active duty in TX. Then she stopped the phone calls claiming the child was never home and always needing money for something ( which she got) We had papers stating we could bring the child to TX for visitation but mom wouldn't let her come. We didn't have the money to fight in court so unfortunatly this continued. When hubby got out of the service we moved to GA at this time the child is 7. Mom still refused visits and phone calls. Until one day she needed extra money and that was how we were able to see his daughter for the first time in 2 1/2 years. Then about a month later we get a call from child services they have his child in their care as mom and step dad have been beating eachother for two days and finally arrested them.
So now we are finally being told of all the drugs alcahol and abuse going on in the home between mom stepdad and 5 kids. Now that hubby hasa job that pays money we secure a lawyer and keep her in our custody. Shianne, DH's daughter constantly lies to her mother about what is going on at our house. Stupid things ie we make her ride a bike with training wheels, She has no clothes that fit, she has to sleep on the floor. All a while I had gone out bought her a new bike, new clothes that fit ( hers were two sizes too small and she had a queen size bed to sleep in)
The courts grant mom visitation 2 days a week. Some days she doesn't show and Shianne is left at school, some days she is late and others (we found out later) was so inebreated when picking her up or while she was in her care she couldn't care for her. After 8 months of this we are granted temp sole custody of her and move back to Tx. Mom calls once in 7 months and Shianne called multi times to include one where mom tells her to NEVER call here again nobody wants to talk to you. Then we were finally granted full custody no visitation from mom. Moms phone is disconnected and she is now on the run in FL for not paying child support as well as warents for her arrest on other charges.
So now we have had SHianne for 3 years in our care. WE have had her in counciling to deal withthe trama of being removed from her mother and dangerous inviroment. This did no good because she lied to the councilor. She continues to lie to us, has now upgraded to stealing from us and told me the other day she will NOT start behaving until she gets to see her family, even though she knows that I can't do anything about it. I don't know what to do. She doesn't just lash out to me but also to her dad. When we first got her we were very cautious on disapline and geting her used to the new house nad new sets of rules that were constant. Now we have gotten a lot harsher on not following the rules. We have gone through the taking things away to the point to where she had nothing but her bed and the things needed for school. That didn't change her mind on behaving. We sent her to scared straight ( which is NOTHING like what they show on tv the sit in a court room and see trials of what can happen if they don't change and act right and then have calm convos with inmates about what they did wrong and how they could have changed) I have sat with her and talked numerous times about how she feels about her mother and how she has abandoned her. Shianne has brought most of this to me. I listen she talks. We have a great time talking and then things go right back to where they were. She is 10 years old and has seen way more than one child should ever see! She hates us and wantns to live in filth and not knowing if she will eat that day then be here with us. Her actions are rubbing off on our almost 4 year old and 19 month old. Oh and now she is drawing on the walls when she has notebooks to draw in, in her room. I don't know what to do anymore!!!!! PLEASE HELP!!!!
So now we are finally being told of all the drugs alcahol and abuse going on in the home between mom stepdad and 5 kids. Now that hubby hasa job that pays money we secure a lawyer and keep her in our custody. Shianne, DH's daughter constantly lies to her mother about what is going on at our house. Stupid things ie we make her ride a bike with training wheels, She has no clothes that fit, she has to sleep on the floor. All a while I had gone out bought her a new bike, new clothes that fit ( hers were two sizes too small and she had a queen size bed to sleep in)
The courts grant mom visitation 2 days a week. Some days she doesn't show and Shianne is left at school, some days she is late and others (we found out later) was so inebreated when picking her up or while she was in her care she couldn't care for her. After 8 months of this we are granted temp sole custody of her and move back to Tx. Mom calls once in 7 months and Shianne called multi times to include one where mom tells her to NEVER call here again nobody wants to talk to you. Then we were finally granted full custody no visitation from mom. Moms phone is disconnected and she is now on the run in FL for not paying child support as well as warents for her arrest on other charges.
So now we have had SHianne for 3 years in our care. WE have had her in counciling to deal withthe trama of being removed from her mother and dangerous inviroment. This did no good because she lied to the councilor. She continues to lie to us, has now upgraded to stealing from us and told me the other day she will NOT start behaving until she gets to see her family, even though she knows that I can't do anything about it. I don't know what to do. She doesn't just lash out to me but also to her dad. When we first got her we were very cautious on disapline and geting her used to the new house nad new sets of rules that were constant. Now we have gotten a lot harsher on not following the rules. We have gone through the taking things away to the point to where she had nothing but her bed and the things needed for school. That didn't change her mind on behaving. We sent her to scared straight ( which is NOTHING like what they show on tv the sit in a court room and see trials of what can happen if they don't change and act right and then have calm convos with inmates about what they did wrong and how they could have changed) I have sat with her and talked numerous times about how she feels about her mother and how she has abandoned her. Shianne has brought most of this to me. I listen she talks. We have a great time talking and then things go right back to where they were. She is 10 years old and has seen way more than one child should ever see! She hates us and wantns to live in filth and not knowing if she will eat that day then be here with us. Her actions are rubbing off on our almost 4 year old and 19 month old. Oh and now she is drawing on the walls when she has notebooks to draw in, in her room. I don't know what to do anymore!!!!! PLEASE HELP!!!!